PS 3503 
.R53 S7 
1917 
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STEP LIVELY 



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Step Lively 

A Comedy in Two Acts 



By 
GLADYS RUTH BRIDGHAM 

Author of '■^Captain Cranberry,^'' ^^ Behind the Scenes, ^^ *'At the Sign 
of the Shooting Stari" ^^The Girl frot?i Upper 7 Bauch,'''' ** Leave 
it to Folly, ^^ "^ Regular Scream,^^ ^^ Not on the Prograinme^^ 
"A Modern Cinderella," *^0n the Quiet," "A Regular 
Rah! Rah! Boy" ^^ Sally Luntt," "Six Times 
Nine" "Cupid's Partner," "Her First As- 
signment" "A Case for Sherlock Holmes" 
"Ring-Around-a-Rosie," "Three of 
a Kind" "The Turn in the 
Road," "The Queen of 
Hearts" etc. 



NOTICE 

This play is published for the free use of amateur players and 
o^-ganizations only. Professional actors or companies producmg 
it in any form or under any title, without the permission of the 
author, who may be addressed in care of the publishers, will be 
prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 
1917 



i^ 



'9^\^\o,<\ 



v 



Step Lively 



CHARACTERS 

[As origi7ialIy produced in Unitarian Hall, So77ierville, Mass., 
May g, igiy, by pupils of the author.) 

Joseph Billings, mill ow7ier, president of Benhani 

Trust Company Leonard Rice 

Joseph Billings, Jr., - - - - - Webster Hall 

TiiKOT>o\\K CuiimnGHAM, Billinos Secretary - David Hill 

HoRATius Thimple - . - - - Ralph Laniont 

Mary Smythe, Billings sister . . . - Eva Westlund 
Beverly Simythe j { Phyllis Noyes 

Juliet Smythe \ her daughters - - \ Lillian Thomas 

Rose-Marie Smythe J ( Claudia Bryant 

Gwendolyn Smith, her niece . - - - Ruth Cahooti 
Martha Holton, Billings niece - - - Rose Friedman 
Lucille Loveland, of the " IVifiso^ne Winnie " 

Company --...-- May McHugh 

Carrie Arry Bernice Messenger 

Nora, the maid - - - - - - -Mary B on tiller 

Jerusha Billings - Miss Bridgham 

Scene, — Room in the home of Joseph Billings, Benham, Mass. 



SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Morning. 

Act II. — Afternoon of the same day. 

Plays About Two Hours 




Copyright, 191 7, by Gladys Ruth Biu»«ffAM 



As author and proprido'f^^^\^ 
Professional stage and movwQfiicmrArights reserved. 

©CI.D 47863 

SEP 22 1917 



NOTE 

Billings is about seventy years old, his son, Joe, Jr., twenty ; 
Cunningham is twenty-five, Thimple twenty-five to thirty, Mary 
fifty to fifty-five. Beverly is twenty, Juliet eighteen, Rose-Marie 
seven, Gwendolyn sixteen, and Martha twelve ; by changing 
lines a httle this latter part could be played by an older girl. 
Lucille is twenty, Carrie fifteen, Nora twenty and Jerusha twenty- 
five. 

Billings raves at every one. Joe, Jr., is a chappy-boy. Cun- 
ningham is very serious. Thimple lisps. Mary drawls. Beverly 
is affected. Juliet is dramatic. Gwendolyn thinks she is it, and 
Lucille also has a very good opinion of herself. Carrie is fresh. 



Step Lively 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Room in the home of Joseph Billings. 
Exits R., L., c, and exit or Venetian window r. front, 
supposed to lead on to a balcony; fireplace l. c. ; study 
table c. ; telephone and writing materials on table. 
Chairs. Speaking tube and bell on wall near exit c. 

{As curtain rises telephone rings; pause ; rings again; 
Joseph Billings enters, l. ; wears lounging robe and 
has right arm in a sling. Goes to telephone.) 

Bill. Hello! Yes! What? I don't understand! 
For the love of heaven speak plain ! Yes, yes ! I get it ! 
A man named Smith and he is sending the package to 
me to-day by his daughter. You think it is what we 
want? Thank heaven if it is. It is my last hope. I'm 
nearly insane. If this fails I'm a ruined man. Yes, I 
can hold the directors off. I'm a sick man growing 
worse every minute. What time will Miss Smith be 
here? All right. Yes, I'll call you after she comes. 
I don't know how I am going to hold myself together 
until she arrives. Good-bye ! {Suddenly notices a 
drazver of his table which is open.) Great heaven! 
{Calls.) Theodore! Theodore! Come here! Step 
lively ! Theodore ! Come here ! Step lively, I say ! 
Theodore ! 

Theodore Cunningham {outside door, r.). Yes, sir! 

Bill. Come here ! 

Theo. I can't, Mr. Billings. The door is locked. 

Bill. Well, wait until I crawl over there. It takes 



6 STEP LIVELY 

me an age to cross the room. {He walks all right hut 
feigns lameness when any one is with him. Crosses 
room to door, r. ; unlocks and opens it.) There! Come 
in! 

Enter Thec, in gray business suit. 

Theo. You are no better, Mr. Billings? 

Bill. No, I'm worse. I can hardly move. Help me 
back to my desk. (Theo. starts to take him by the right 
arm. .Bill, yells at the top of his voice.) Don't touch 
my right arm. 

TiiEO. {hastily going to his other side and taking his 
left arm). I beg your pardon. {Helps him to table.) 
Really, Mr. Billings, you should consult another specialist. 

Bill. I'd do better to consult a police officer. Look 
at that drawer! 

Theo. Open ! 

Bill. Yes, open ! Lock broken, everything gone ! 
Clean sweep ! 

Theo. Anything valuable? 

Bill. I don't believe so, but that isn't the point. 
This is the third attempt. Who is it and what are they 
after? They only visit this part of the house, and they 
never touch the safe. {Points, r.) That door was 
locked and {pointing l.) I just opened that one. Try 
the other door and the window. Don't you hear? Step 
lively ! 

Theo. {going to door, c, opens it and also opens zvin- 
dow). Everything is just as we left it when we locked 
up last night. 

Bill, {pointing to door, l.). Some one has a key to 
that door! 

Theo. And came through your room, and broke that 
lock, and took the contents of the, drawer, and wxnt 
back through your room without your knowing it? 

Bill. Well, do you expect me to believe that he 
came down through the ceiling or up through the floor? 
Some one has a key to that door and some one who is 
pretty familiar with my rooms and my affairs. 

Theo. I know what you are thinking, Mr. Billings. 
I would be dense indeed if I didn't understand. I don't 



STEP LIVELY 7 

see why you don't accuse me outright. Why didn't you 
call an officer when you discovered the first attempt, and 
have me arrested ? 

Bill. Stop talking like a fool and ring for Nora to 
bring me a cup of coffee. 

Theo. {going to hell). Oh, haven't you had break- 
fast? 

Bill. No,, I haven't and I don't want any. Just 
some coffee. {Telephone rings.) 

Theo. {returning to table). Do you wish to talk to 
anv one? 

Bill. No ! 

Theo. Hello! Yes! Just a minute! {Turns re- 
ceiver down on table, and puts hand over transmitter.) 
It's Fales! What about the meeting? 

Bill. There won't be any, of course ! 

Theo. Hello! Mr. Billings is much worse. The 
meeting is quite out of the question. I will call you as 
soon as I have a chance to talk with Mr. Billings. 
Good-bye. 

Enter Nora, r., in black dress with white cap and apron. 

Nora. Did you ring, sir? 

Theo. Yes. Bring Mr. Billings some coffee. 

Nora. Anything else? 

Bill. Oh, some toast, I suppose. [Exit Nora, r. 

Theo. Mr. Billings, I don't believe the directors' 
meeting can be held off much longer. Mr. Fales sug- 
gested yesterday that you have it out here if you were 
able to sit up. 

Bill, {violently). Well, they won't have it here! 
I'm a sick man. I'm not sure but I'm dying. Did you 
bring in the mail? 

Theo. No, sir, I will get it. [Exit, r. 

{Slight pause. Nora enters, r., zvith tray. She places 
it on table and starts to exit.) 

Bill. Here ! Come back here ! How do you expect 
me to manage? Put some butter on that toast. 
Nora {returning to table). Yes, sir. 
Bill. Some cream in the coffee ! 



8 STEP LIVELY 

Nora {following his directions) . Yes, sir. 

Bill. A lump of sugar. 

Nora. Yes, sir. 

Bill. Stir it up ! 

Nora. Yes, sir. And now shall I drink it for you? 

Bill. ( explosively ) . What ? 

Nora. I — I — said — is it too hot to drink now, sir? 

Bill. I guess not. {Drops the toast.) There goes 
the toast! Butter side down, of course! (Nora gig- 
gles. ) Well, are you going to stand there and giggle like 
a ninny? Pick it up! (Nora picks it up and offers it 
to him.) Don't offer it to me! Do you suppose I'm 
going to eat it after the butter has collected all the germs 
on the floor ? Take it away ! 

Nora. Shall I get you some more? 

Bill. No, I'm all out of the idea of eating anything. 
Get out of my sight or I'll throw this whole cup of 
coffee at you. Step lively ! 

Nora (starting for the door). Y-Y-Yes, sir. 

Bill. Wait! Don't you let a soul into this room! 
You understand? I'm a sick man and I won't see any 
one but the doctor. Get out and stay out, you and every 
one else ! 

Nora {with a gasp). Yes, sir. [Exit, r. 

{Slight pause. Theo. enters, r., with letters.) 

Theo. The mail, Mr. Billings. You wish to go over 
it at once? 

Bill. No, not until I have a shave and have this 
bandage adjusted and a few other things attended to. 
I never felt so uncomfortable in my life. (Rises.) 

Theo. Shall I help you? 

Bill. Yes. Be careful ! [ They exeunt, l. 

(Martha Holton runs in, r.) 

Mar. Uncle Joseph ! Uncle Joseph ! (Theo. re- 
enters, L.) Oh, good-morning, Mr. Cunningham. I 
thought Uncle Joseph was here. 

Theo. He was but he has gone to his room. He is 
worse this morning, Martha. I wouldn't disturb him. 
Is there anything I can do for you? 



STEP LIVELY 9 

Mar. I wanted to know where Cousin Joe is. Nora 
said he came home last night. 

Theo. Yes, he did. I saw him going into the garage 
a few minutes ago. (Mar. starts toward window.) 
Wait a minute, Martha. I want to speak to you. (Mar. 
comes back. Theo.. goes to bell, rings it, speaks into 
tube.) Send Wilkins up to Mr. BilUngs' room, and tell 
him if he values his life to step lively ! (Turns to Mar.) 
Martha, would you do something for me ? 

Mar. Of course I would. I would love to. You 
have done lots of things for me, helped me with my 
lessons, and — and played tennis, and — and — I like you 
awfully much, Mr. Cunningham. 

TiiEO. Well, this is a secret, Martha. 

Mar. That's all the better. I just love secrets. 

Theo. Whom can you think of that you love, that 
you haven't seen for a long time, and you would rather 
see than any one on earth ? 

Mar. (looking thought fid and speaking suddenly). 
Jerry ! Oh, what about her ? She isn't coming home? 

Theo. She is coming down here this morning on the 
10: 15. I sent for her last night and no one knows that 
I did it. That's the secret, Martha. When it is train 
time I want you to meet her. I must see her before she 
sees your uncle and it isn't easy for me to leave the 
house. Bring her in by the side entrance and find me; 
and, Martha, not a soul must know. 

(Sits down by table and begins to open letters.) 

Mar. Not a soul! (Goes to window; turns.) Oh, 
Mr. Cunningham, supposing she should make it up with 
Uncle Joseph and stay at home again. Just suppose ! 

Theo. (smiling). Yes, just suppose! 

Mar. (looking out zvindow). Oh, there's Joe! Joe! 
Jo-o-oe! (Runs out.) 

Joseph Billings, Jr. (outside). Hello, kiddo ! 

Mar. (outside). Joe Billings, put me down! 
(Screams. Runs in, followed by Joe. He is a chappy- 
boy, dressed in the most extreme college style, vivid tie 
and stockings. It is an agony to hear him talk.) You've 
got to stop acting as if I was little. I'm twelve years old 



lO STEP LIVELY 

and I'm most grown up, and — and — and — I can one-step 
and play tennis. Can't I, Mr. Cunningham? 

TiiEO. (bowing). Yes, indeed, Miss Holton, an ex- 
cellent game. 

Mar. (triumphantly). There! 

Joe. Good news ! Shall we have a game ? 

Mar. Right now? 

Joe (with a mock bow). If you will be kind enough 
to find the rackets, Miss Holton. 

Mar. All right, Mr. Billings. 

(Gives him a coquettish smile and runs out, r.) 

Joe (calling after her). Here! Quit! There's time 
enough for that in ten years from now. I say, Cunning- 
ham, how is Dad feeling this morning? I'm deucedly in 
need of some money and I thought maybe you could give 
me a tip as to my chances. 

Theo. (has no patience with Joe and it is an effort to 
be civil). Well, you can judge for yourself when you 
see him. Personally if I wanted a raise in my salary 
I shouldn't consider this morning just the opportune time 
to ask for it. 

Joe (walking about the room). Lord, I wish Dad 
hadn't been struck with rheumatism! He is peppery 
enough ordinarily without having anything to increase 
the sweetness of his disposition. 

Theo. He's a father, Mr. Billings, and a generous 
one, and I can tell you it is some different than it is to 
make your own way in the world. 

Joe. I dare say. Cunningham, do you ever hear 
from Jerry? 

TiiEO. Do I ever hear? Why should you ask me 
such a question? 

Joe. Well, I didn't know. You were good friends. 
She got you your position here with father and I thou.o^ht 
perhaps you at least might hear from her. I wish you 
did know something. 

Theo. I'm sorry, Mr. Billings, but I can't tell you 
anything about her. 

Joe. She dropped off the earth, by Jove! I tried 
deucedly hard to locate her several times but I couldn't 



STEP LIVELY II 

find out a word. I don't blame her for dropping the 
family, and yet she ought not to feel that we were all 
against her just because Dad was. Lord, I'd like to see 
her! Didn't she get an extraordinary idea in her head? 

TiiEO. Why, I don't know. She certainly has as 
good a right to choose a career as you have. 

Joe. But such a career ! A female detective ! Why, 
there is about one man in a thousand fitted for such work, 
and a girl ! By J6ve ! I wonder what she is really doing ? 

Theo. How^ do you know she isn't doing what she 
started out to do ? 

Joe, Too utterly ridiculous. You took her part but 
you didn't believe in her ability any more than the rest 
of us. Did you ? Be honest now ! 

Theo. No, I didn't, but she had a right to try it. 

Joe. Well, I'd like to see her, by Jove I would ! And 
I bet Dad would, too, if he would speak the truth. He 
cared for her a whole lot more than he ever cared for me. 

(Mar. runs in, r., zviih tennis rackets.) 

Mar. Here they are, Joe. 

Joe (taking them). AH right. Come on! 

[They exeunt by zvindow. 

{The telephone rings.) 

Theo. Hello! What? She is? {Aside.) Good- 
night! {Pause.) No, of course it can't be helped. 
I'm sorry. Good-bye. 

Enter Bill., l. 

Bill. Letters ready for me to look over? 

Theo. Yes, sir. Mr. Billings, your stenographer is 
ill. I have just received a message from her mother. 
She says Miss Carrington has a nervous breakdown. 

Bill, {impatiently as he sits down at the table). 
NerA^ous fiddle-sticks ! What are young people good 
for nowadays? There aren't any of you blessed with 
the backbone of a jelly fish. 

Theo. ^hat may be quite true, but it doesn't help the 
present situation. Mrs. Carrington says it will be at 



12 STEP LIVELY 

least a month before her daughter can work for you 
again. In the meantime 

Bill. You wiU do her work whether you have time 
or not. I won't have a stranger around me. {Hands 
TiiEO. some papers.) Give these papers to John and tell 
him to take them down to Mr. Holton's office. Also tell 
him to meet the ii : 22, and bring Miss Smith up here. 

TiiEO. {looking hack quickly). One of your nieces? 

Bill. No, she's no relation. There's other Smiths in 
the world besides my nieces. Now, don't stand there 
looking at me. Move along! [Exit Tiieo., r. 

{Slight pause. Nora enters, r.) 

Nora. I beg your pardon, sir. 

Bill. Didn't I tell you to keep away from me? 

Nora. Yes, sir, you did, but I had to come, sir. 
You've got visitors. 

Bill. Visitors? Don't you know that I'm a sick 
man? Didn't I tell you that I wouldn't see a soul? 

Nora. Yes, sir, of course. But this ain't a soul. 
It's your sister. 

Bill. My sister ? Nonsense ! 

Nora. Yes, it is, sir, and her daughters. 

Bill. Well, when I'm not well enough to see stran- 
gers, do you think I want to see relatives? 

Enter Mary Smythe, r., followed by her daughters, 
Beverly, Juliet and Rose-Marie in spring suits, 
strazv hats, bags. Rose, has a doll. 

Mary. Well, I guess you are going to see us ! The 
very idea ! You may go, Nora. 

(Nora tosses her head and exits, r.) 

Bill. See here, Mary, do you think you are coming in 
here and upset things? I'm a sick man and 

Mary. How do you do, Joseph ? 

Bill. I just told you, I'm a sick man. 

Mary. Girls, come and kiss your uncle. 

Bill. Help ! 

Jul. Oh, don't worry, Uncle Joseph. We aren't at 
all anxious about it ourselves. 



STEP LIVELY I3 

Bev. How do you do, Uncle Joseph ? 

Bill, (zvrathfully) . Sick, I tell you! 

Mary (calmly as she takes a chair). What seems to 
be the matter beside your temper? 

Bill. Rheumatism ! I can hardly move. Whole 
right side. 

Mar\\ How fortunate we happened to come. 

Bill. Fortunate ? 

Mary. Yes, we can make things so cheerful for you. 
Take off your things, girls. W^e have come to make you 
a visit, Joseph. 

Bill, (desperately). But I tell you Tm a sick man! 

Jul. And you don't want us here. 

Mary. Juliet, my dear! What perfect nonsense! 
Not want us? His only sister and his only sister's only 
children ? 

(The girls remove their things. Rose, begins to jump 
up and down on one of the chairs.) 

Bill, (with a groan). What is it you want, Mary? 

Mary. Want ? Really, Joseph 

Bill. Now there's no sense in that, Mary. I know 
well enough you never had such a sudden desire to visit 
me for nothing. Call off that infant of yours, will you? 
Chairs were made to sit in. 

Mary. Rose-Marie, come over here with mother, pet. 
We have been thinking for a long time that we would 
make you a visit. How is Joe, Jr. ? 

Bill. Perfectly well, and just as big a fool as he 
ever was. He came home last night. He says for a 
vacation, but I'd like to know what his life is all the 
time but a vacation. 

Mary. Not married yet ? 

Bill, (violently hanging his right arm on table). 
Married? Ow ? 

(Jumps to his feet and sits down again zvith a groan.) 

Mary. Dear me, Joseph, I should think you could 
refrain from violence when it hurts that way. 

Bill. Violence? I don't know who wouldn't be vio- 



14 STEP LIVELY 

lent with you around. Joe is still in college. Why 
should you suggest that he is married? 

Mary. Why not? Lots of boys give up college and 
get married. He is old enough if he cared to be and I 
heard every girl in New Haven was crazy about him. 

Bill. Well, he isn't crazy about them. 

Bev. He must have cha-anged. 

Bill. My son will let the girls strictly alone for 
years to come. If he gets married before I consent I 
will cut him off; and he hasn't life enough to support 
a goldfish without my help. 

Bev. I v/ish Uncle John was as opposed to marriage 
as you, Uncle Jo-seph. All he talks about is matrimony 
as the chief ambition of wo-man. 

Jul. It's dreadful that he happened to be our guard- 
ian. He's the limit. Why, I think even you would have 
been preferable. Uncle Joseph. 

Bill. Thanks. 

Mary. It's the most absurd thing. He wishes Bev- 
erly to become engaged at once and Juliet within a year. 
He says young people should settle down early in life. 
It keeps them from doing foolish things. 

Bill. Hum ! What particular thing is it you girls 
want to do? 

Bev. Good-ness, Uncle Joseph, how quick you are to 
jump at conclusions. Who said we wanted to do any- 
thing ? 

Bill. Might as well tell. Murder will out. 

Mary. They want to go on the stage. 

Bill. They say no fool like an old fool, but I say 
none like a young one. 

Bev. {reproachfully). Oh, Uncle Jo-seph! 

Mary. Well, now, Joseph, I don't see why the girls 
shouldn't do it as long as they have talent. And they are 
certainly wonderful if I do say it that shouldn't. Juliet, 

do some — some Beverly, what is the name of Miss 

Bloomsbury's cat? 

Bev. Portia. 

Mary. Yes. Do some Portia for your uncle. 

Jul. {dramatically). ''The quality of mercy is not 
strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven 



STEP LIVELY 



15 



Upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed. It blesseth 
him who gives and him who takes." 

Bill, (commencing to shout at her before she is half 
through). Hold on! Hold on! That will do! That 
will do ! Show^ me some of your mercy. My head isn't 
equal to Shakespeare. 

Mary. But isn't her expression wonderful ? Did you 
ever hear anything like it? 

Bill. Never. {Turns to Bev.) And I suppose 
yours is equally wonderful? 

Bev. Yes, I think so, but in quite a different way. 
I'm going into musical comedy. 

Mary. And she will make such a hit. Beverly is the 
cutest thing when she sings. You just ought to hear 
her do " What do you want to make those eyes at me 
for." (Rose, stands near Bill, and begins to do balanc- 
ing exercises on her toes.) Beverly, my dear, show 
Uncle Joseph 

Bill. Never mind a sample. My imagination is 
vivid. What is the matter with your youngest? Is she 
having a fit ? 

Mary. Oh, she is showing you some of her exercises. 
She takes lessons. 

Bev. Isn't she dar-ling? 

Jul. That's the best she has ever done. 

Bill. What is it she is going to be ? A contortionist 
in a circus? 

Mary. Certainly not. She is learning toe dancing. 

(Rose, loses her balance and falls onto Bill., grabbing 
him by the arm.) 

Bill. Ow ! My arm ! Murder ! 

Mary. Darling, you must be careful. Uncle's arm 
is sore. 

Bill. Sore? Oh, lord! 

Mary. Now what would you advise me to do with 
the girls, Joseph ? 

Bill. Take them back home and let them knit socks 
for soldiers. 

Jul. {dramatically) . Uncle, you must not speak that 
way. This is no jest. It is no idle fancy. It is a matter 



l6 STEP LIVELY 

of life and death to me. Shining far in the distance is 
the goal of my ambitions. If I thought I should never 
reach that goal I would hurl myself from yonder window. 
Do you know what causes a strange, weird feeling down, 
down in the very depths of your soul ? 

Bill. I don't know what causes yours. Mince pie 
and doughnuts will do it for me. 

Mary. I must insist, Joseph, that you take us seri- 
ously. We are in earnest. I have decided to send the 
girls to a dramatic school and I want your assistance. 

Bill. I knew you wanted something. 

Mary'. You see their guardian won't advance money 
for anything like that, so I'm going to make the sacrifice. 
I have some stock which poor dear Ezekiel left. I in- 
tended to put it to a far different purpose, but I want 
you to see what the shares are worth and raise me some 
money, and the girls shall go to a school. It shall never 

be said that their mother didn't do all — all — all 

{Breaks dozvn.) I feel quite upset. Girls, it would be 
a good idea foi* us to go to our rooms. 

Jul. Yes, it would. 

(Jul. and Bev. begin to pick up their hags, coats, and 
so forth.) 

Bill, {going to hell and ringing). An excellent idea. 
The best you have had since you came. 

Mary {handing some papers to Jul.). Juliet, hand 
these to your uncle. 

(Jul. places the papers on the table.) 

Bill, {returning to tahle and suddenly noticing Rose. 
who stands hy the tahle regarding him gravely). Your 
youngest isn't dumb, is she? She seems to be different 
than the rest of your family. 

Mary. She doesn't say much but she is a very deep 
thinker. 

Bill. Is that so? {To Rose.) Give us a sample. 
What do you think right now ? 

Rose. I think you are a lemon. 

Enter Nora, r. 



STEP LIVELY 



17 



Bev. {appalled). Rose-Marie! 

Bill, {to Nora). Nora, help the ladies up-stairs with 
their things. 

[Nora, Mary, Bev., Jul. and Rose, exeunt, c. 

{Slight pause. Bill, sits by table. Joe enters at 
window. ) 

Joe. Oh, good-morning, father. How are you this 
morning? 

Bill. Worse, with no chance to improve. My head 
is killing me. 

Joe. Well, by Jove, that is too bad, father. 

Bill. What in heaven's name is the matter with you? 

Joe. Matter with me, father? I'm afraid I don't 
get you. 

Bill. Where did you learn to talk like a choked 
chicken? How long since I have been your {imitating 
him) *'forther"? My heaven, if that is what college 
is doing for you I will take you out and put you to 
work in a boiler factory. 

Joe. Well, but really, how am I going to talk? 

Bill. Good lord, that it should come to this ! I have 
seen curiosities like you before but I never expected to 
have one in the family. Take off that necktie ! 

Joe. But really, father 

Bill. Stop ! Don't you dare to speak that way again. 
As sure as you do and there's an earth below and a sky 
above I'll thrash you. Take off that tie. I won't have 
anything like it around the house. (Joe hesitates for a 
second, then tears it off and throws it in the fireplace.) 
You had better go up-stairs. Your Aunt Mary is up 
there. 

Joe {surprised). She is? 

Bill. Yes, and she has all her menagerie with her. 
If you go up it will be complete. I should say she had 
come to stay a month at least. 

Joe. Well, by Jove 

{Suddenly remembers his father's threat and stops 

abruptly.) 
Bill. 'Well, what were you going to remark? 



l8 STEP LIVELY 

Joe {thoroughly exasperated). Nothing, father! 

{Exit, c. 

Theo. {entering, R.). The doctor has come, Mr. 
BilHngs. Do you wish him to come in here ? 

Bill. No. I will see him in the library. {Exeunt, R. 
{Slight pause. Bev. and Jul. enter, c.) 

Jul. Uncle has gone. Oh, Beverly, do you suppose 
he will help out? Suppo^ng he should take a notion 
not to raise the money for mother or supposing the stock 
isn't good for anything ! 

Bev. He could easily let her have the money himself 
and never feel it if he would. 

Jul. {walking to window). Yes, if he would. {Looks 
out. ) Oh, my goodness ! ( Trills. ) Lucille ! 

Bev. Who is it? 

Jul. Lucille Loveland ! Of all things! Lm going to 
bring her in. 

{Trills and runs out at window; Theo. enters, r.) 

Theo. Miss Smith ! 

Bev. How do you do, Mr. Cunningham? 

Theo. {eagerly). I can't tell you. Miss Smith 

Bev. {coolly interrupting) . Smythe, if you please. 

Theo. Well, Miss Smythe, if it pleases you more. 
I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. I have been 
wondering how I was going to manage it. 

Bev. Why in the world should you wish to see me? 

Theo. You know quite well. You must explain your 
presence in this room late Wednesday afternoon. 

Bev. Why, what can you me-an? 

Theo. It is of no use for you to pretend that you 
weren't here. I recognized you even before you went 
through that door. {Points to windozv.) You have 
placed me in a terrible position. Your uncle has had a 
number of things stolen lately. This room has been 
entered in a very strange way. 

Bev. Are you accusing me? 

Theo. Accusing you of nothing. I am asking you to 
explain. Your uncle suspects me, and I suspect you, of 
knowing something about the matter. How else can I 
feel when I walk into this room and find you leaving 



STEP LIVELY K) 

it when no one has the least idea that you are within 
miles of this place. You wouldn't answer when I spoke 
to you. I lost you when you ran through the hedge 
near the gate. Some one was certainly waiting for you. 
It isn't likely you were alone. Why were you here? 
Who w^as with you? What were you after? Was it 
you or the person with you who came Monday and 
again last night? 

Bev. What use are you going to make of this fanciful 
story of yours, Mr. Cunning-ham? 

Theo. It isn't fanciful that I saw you leaving this 
room and followed you across the lawn. Of course I 
can't help putting two and two together, and the fact 
that I myself am under suspicion 

Bev. [interrupting). Certainly. Have you told my 
uncle this crazy sto-ry? 

Theo. Certainly not until I gave you a chance to 
explain. 

Bev. And if I still insist that I have nothmg to ex- 
plain ? 

Theo. You will not do that ! Of course I know you 
can't be trying to rob your uncle. There must be some- 
thing to it that I don't understand. If you will just 
admit that you were here and tell me why! I'm only 
asking you to explain. 

Bev. And I refuse to have anything whatever to 

sa-ay. . , 

Theo. Do you refuse to admit that I saw you m this 

room? ,. , 1 • 

Bev. I certainly do. I think you are slightly in-sane. 

Theo. Miss Smith 

Bev. Smythe, if you please. 

Theo. Oh, hang the name ! Are you going to force 
me to tell your uncle ? 

Bev. Tell anvthing you like. Whom do you suppose 
will believe such a story? You say that you are_ under 
suspicion. I'm inclined to think it will look like an 
idiotic attempt to throw suspicion upon some one else, a 
girl at that. 

Theo. .(desperately). Miss Smith, you must listen to 

reason. 



20 STEP LIVELY 

(Stops abruptly as Jul. enters at window, follozved by 
Lucille Loveland. Luc. is dressed in spring suit 
and hat, noticeably up to date in style.) 

Jul. I've brought her in, Beverly. She was so sur- 
prised. This is my sister, Miss Loveland. 

Bey. I am pleased to meet you. 

Luc. Delighted, I am sure. 
. Jul. (noticing Thec). Oh, how do you do, Mr. 
Cunningham. (Introduces Luc.) Miss Loveland. 

Luc. Mr. Cunningham. 

Ti-iEO. (bowing). Miss Loveland. [Exit, r. 

Jul. Wasn't it the strangest thing that I happened to 
see Lucille going by? 

Luc. I was completely staggered. 

Jul. You know Liicille was in my class, and she left 
school to go on the stage. 

Bev. (interested). Oh, did you? What are you play- 
ing in? 

Luc. The Winsome Winnie Company. I have one 
of the most important parts in the play. 

Bev. (delighted). Oh, isn't it lovely that Julie saw 
youj You know we are just going to start studying for 
the stage. You can tell us so many things that we want 
to know. 

Luc. (glancing at her wrist zvatch). Well, I don't 
know as I have time. I have an appointment with a Mr. 
Horton, a lawyer in this town. You see I have unex- 
pectedly had some property left me and it is in his 
hands. I was on my way to see him. 

Jul. Well, keep your appointment and then come 
back here. Will you? 

Bev. Oh, will you please? We simply can't let 
you go-o ! 

Luc. Well, I suppose I could. Whose house is this, 
anyway ? 

Jul. Our uncle's. Joseph Billings. 

Luc. Joseph Billings? (Suddenly.) Has he a son 
Joe, Jr. ? 

Bev. Yes. He is at home from Yale, too. 

Luc. He is? 



STEP LIVELY 21 



Jul. Do you know him? 

Luc. Well, rather. Oh, I'll come back all right. I 
wouldn't miss a meeting with Joe, Jr., for a good deal! 
(Rises.) Come down to the lawyer's with me, Julie, 
and I'll come right back. The sooner the better. 

Jul. All right. 

(Takes her hat from the table. They exeunt at win- 
dozv. Bev. exits, c. Mar. looks in from window.) 

Mak. (entering). There's no one here. Come in, 
Jerry. / 

Enter Jerusha Billings. She wears a striking looking 
white suit — large hat and carries a fancy white 
leather vanity bag. 

Jer. (looking about the room). Oh, Martha, how 
natural it seems to be in this room again ! Everything is 
just the same, isn't it? 

Mar. Goodness, yes ! Nothing changes in this house. 
Just the same old things over and over. (Throws her 
arms around Jer.) Oh, Jerry, if you w^ould only 
promise to live with us again ! 

Jer. (kissing her). How can I promise that, dear? 
Perhaps Uncle will not even speak to me. Tell me, 
Martha, does he ever mention my name? 

Mar. No-o-o, but I'm sure he thinks about you 
because he still keeps your picture on his desk (Jer. 
turns to the desk), and one day I came in quick and he 
was sitting here all alone with it in his hand. ( Walks to 
door, R.) Mr. Cunningham is coming. I think he is 
alone. 

Jer. We had better be sure of that. (They exeunt, 
c. Theo. enters, R., and throws some papers onto the 
table He zualks slowly to the fireplace and stands look- 
ing into the fire. Jer. enters, c.) "I shall forget to have 
thee still standing there— (Theo. turns) remembering 
how I loved thy company." 

TiiEO. (rushing forward). Jerry! How glad I am 
to see you ! 

Jer. And I to see you, Ted. Martha says Uncle is 
ill. (Anxiously.) What is the trouble? 



22 STEP LIVELY 

Theo. Rheumatism. First in his arm and now in 
his whole right side. He also suffers with his head. He 
hasn't been out of this house for a month. He uses this 
room as an office, with Miss Carrington and myself as 
chief assistants. Miss Carrington has given out, and it 
looks as if I would hold the fort alone after this. (Walks 
to door, R., and looks cautiously out, then returns to fable 
where Jer. takes a chair.) Jerry, are you working on 
a case? 

Jer. What do you mean? 

Theo. Just what I say. Jerry, I met HoUis Hunne- 
well and he told me what no one in the family dreams of. 
That you pass under the name of Billy Breen and you 
are a wonderful vSuccess. 

Jer. {quickly). And you haven't told? 

Theo. Do your own telling. If I were you I would 
shout it at the family from the housetop. {Sits down 
near her.) Jerry, I want you to take a case right here 
in riiis house. Three attempts have been made to rob 
your uncle of something — not money. This room has 
been entered and left exactly as it was found. All doors 
lock on this side of the room but that one. {Points, l.) 
Your uncle declares some one other than himself has a 
key to that door, but you know how they would have 
to enter through Mr. Billings' room? 

Jer. Yes. 

Theo. Your uncle raves about the police but never 
sends for them. He is afraid of something, so afraid 
that at times he is almost insane. He suspects me, and 
I must say things don't look any too cheerful for me.- 
Jerr}^, will you stay here for a while? 

Jer. Why, Ted, I don't know how Uncle will treat me. 

Theo. You can get around him. Leave it to you. 

Jer. But I don't half like the idea of coming back 
into my old home in this way. I don't know what I'm 
mixing into. A stranger would be better. 

Theo. Jerry, I haven't told you all. Yesterday I 
went to the bank to deposit for Mr. Billings and I was 
two thousand dollars short. The money was taken out 
of the bag in this house, not on the way to the bank, 
that's sure. Last night I discovered that figures in the 



STEP LIVELY 23 

books I keep for your uncle have been changed lime 
and time again. 

Jer. Gracious, Ted, run while the running is good. 

TiiEO. For heaven's sake, don't joke. I heard Hink- 
ley threaten your uncle's life yesterday and Mr. Billings 
didn't seem to dare to resent it. 

Jer. (grozving sober). Hinkley, the foreman m 
Uncle's mill? 

TiiEO. Yes. You see! You are needed hefe. 

Jer. (slowly). Yes, I think maybe I am. 

Bill, (outside). Theodore! Theodore! 

Theo. Mr. Billings is coming. 

Jer. (rising quickly). Don't answer him. Go out 
somewhere. I don't know how I am going to get around 
him but I'll do the best I can. 

(Theo. exits at window, Jer., c. Bill, enters, r., and 
goes to table where he sits down and takes up Jer.'s 
picture.) 

Bill. You are the only one on this earth that ever 
understood me. Why did you go away ? 

( JER. enters without attracting his attention; sits down 
' 'opposite him at the table. He looks up and dis- 
covers her sitting there and moves his hand as 
though to brush the vision azvay.) 

Jer. (smiling). I am still here. 

Bill. Jerusha ! 

Jer. And you can't make me vanish this way. 

(Imitates his movement.) 

Bill. What are you doing here? 

Jer. Admiring you. Uncle Joseph. You grow younger 
and better looking every day. 

Bill. The deuce I do ! See here, Jerusha 

Jer. How good it seems to hear you call me Jerusha 
again. No one ever did but you and it's such a fasci- 
nating name. - 

Bill.^ That's enough! Where did you come from.'' 
What di'cl you come for?^ 



24 STEP LIVELY 

Jer. I came down from Boston. I wanted to see you. 
I couldn't stay away any longer. You are all the father 
and mother I can remember. I wanted to see you again. 

Bill. You have managed to live quite a while with- 
out seeing me. 

Jer. Yes, managed to. I was afraid to come. I 
didn't know as you would see me, but I was desperate 
this time and I determined to try. Uncle Joseph, you 
are ill. I'm sorry. 

Bill, {regarding her intentiy). By heaven, I actually 
believe you are, but you are all alone in your sympathy. 
No one else cares whether I live or die. And I suffer, 
Jerusha ! 

Jer. Yes, of course you do. 

Bill. And my head is killing me. 

Jer. Yes, of course it is. Uncle, would you be glad 
if I told you I wanted to stay here with you again ? 

Bill. What do you mean? Are you satisfied with 
your experiment as a lady detective? 

Jer. More than satisfied. Uncle, you will be pleased 
to know that I am a failure. You said I started on a 
wild goose chase. Well, the chase has ended right here 
where it started. Ted says Miss Carrington is ill. Will 
you give me her place? Will you let me come home 
again ? 

Bill, (gruffly, striving to cover the fact that he is 
pleased). Do you know stenography? 

Jer. You would be surprised to know how much of 
it I have done in the last year. Don't I look like an 
efficient business woman? 

Bill. No, you don't. You look like a moving picture 
actress. I'm a fool, but you can try the work. I 
wouldn't turn you out, Jerusha. This was your home as 
long as you cared to stay in it. You went out of your 
own free will and you have come back the same way. 
I hope you are satisfied. Take off your hat. If you are 
going to work for me step lively! (Jer. removes her 
hat and arranges her hair by mirror in vanity hag. Bill., 
thundering at her. ) Sit down ! 

Jer. {hastily sitting down by table and taking up a 
pencil and block). All ready! 



STEP LIVELY ' 2$ 

Bill, {dictating). Homer Wedger Company, 368 
Congress Street, Boston 

Enter Joe, c. 

Joe {discovering Jer.). Jerry! For the love of 

{Rushes forward and takes her hand.) 

Jer. Hello, Joe! 

Joe {delighted). Say, I can't believe my eyes. 
Where 

Bill. Let her alone ! What do you mean by coming 
m here and interrupting me this w^ay ? 

Joe. Why, what are you doing? 

Bill. I am dictating to my stenographer and 

Joe {astonished). Your what? 

Bill. Is there anything the matter with your hearing? 
Jerusha has come home 

Joe. Home? You are going to stay here with us 
again? (Jer. nods.) 

Bill. She is, but it is not for your special amuse- 
ment. She has come home to work for me. Npvv^ if 
your curiosity is satisfied perhaps you w^ill step one side 
and let me go on with my work. Step lively, will you? 

Joe {hastily moving one side). Yes, sir. 

Bill, {continuing letter). In reply to yours of the 

2ist 

Enter Bev., c. 

Bev. Oh, Uncle Jo-seph ! {Discovers ]er.) Jerry! 
Dearest ! ( Throzus her arms around Jer. ) 

Jer. Hello, Beverly ! 

Enter Mary, c. 

Bev. Mother, it's Jerry ! 

Mary {hurrying forward). Dear child, what a sur- 
prise ! 

(Mary and Bev. are very much excited and talk 

together at the top of their voices. ) 
Mary) ,, ,, s When did vou come? Are you 
Bev. ] {together), ^jgiting Uncle, too? Why didn't 

you let us hear from you all this time? What have you 

been doing? How well you are looking! 



26 STEP LIVELY 

(Jer. answers while they are speaking, joining her 
voice to the general confusion.) 

Bill, {holding his head and rocking back and forth). 
Oh, my head ! Will you let up ? Sit down ! Keep still ! 
Get out ! 

Mary. Mercy, Joseph ! How you rave ! Any one 
would think you were going insane. 

Bill. Going? I've already got there. Will you let 
Jerusha alone? You may as well understand once and 
for all that Jerusha has come home to work for me 
and 

xy y (again talking together, Jer. joining in). To 

work? She has? Why, Jerry, what for? What did 
you leave the city for? "Weren't you getting along all 
right? I don't believe you ought to work at all. You 
don't look strong enough. 

BihT.. (beside himself). Oh, lord ! Mv head ! Mary! 
Mary! Mary! 

Mary. For mercy's sake, what is the matter, Joseph ? 
I never saw you so violent before. 

Bill. Violent? You would make St. Peter swear. 
If you will remove your poultry yard to a hotel T will 
pay all the expenses. 

Matly (overcome). P-P-Poultry yard? That I should 
ever live to see this day ! My own brother ! 

Bey. Oh, mother ! Don't cry ! Never mind ! 

Bill. Jerusha ! Talk some sense to that woman ! 
Will you? No' one but you seems to realize that I'm 
a dying man. When I'm lying here before them stiff and 
stark maybe they'll wake up. 

Jer. (stepping forward). Aunt Mary, Uncle Joseph 
is really ill. 

Bill. And I'm worried to death. 

Jer. Yes, and worried to death. 

Mary (unconvinced). Well, I am worried, too. 

Jer. Yes, of course you are. 

Mary. But I don't rave at every one. 

Jer. No, of course not. That shows how superior 
you are to a man. You have perfect control of yourself. 



STEP LIVELY 2/ 

Aunt Mary, and we all admire you very much. Now 
your brother hasn't your strength of mind. 

Bill. Oh, is that so? 

Jer. (looking at him over her shoulder). Sh ! {To 
Mary.) And he is so worried and suffers so much that 
he isn't quite right, and — and he says just the opposite 
to what he means. And so you see he is really pleased 
to have you here. Aren't you. Uncle Joe? 

Bill. Never so pleased over anything in my life. 
It's perfectly heavenly to know that you are all under 
the same roof with me. Just the same as long as I am 
confined to the house I have to use this room as an 
office, and Jerusha is going to act as my stenographer, 
and 

Mary. But, Jerry, my dear, I don't understand. 

Bill. Well, you don't have to understand, do you? 

Enter Theo., r. 

Jer. Oh, go on. Tell them. They may as well know 
it now as later on. 

Bill, {with a smile of satisfaction). Well, then, 
Jerusha has fotmd that she started out on a wild goose 
chase and she is glad to come home and go to work for 
me. (Theo. gives Jer. a look as he places some papers 
on the table and exits, r.) In the future Miss Sherlock 
Holmes will turn her abilities to the detection of flaws 
in her typewriting. 

Joe {stepping forzuard in protest). Forther! 

(Stops abruptly as Bill, gives him a look.) 

Mary. Well, I won't say Fm surprised. You will 
remember that I predicted this very thing. Of course 
v/e all 

Jer. Yes, you all told me so. You did your duty but 
I had to see for myself. I have seen and I am satisfied. 

Bill. And now if everybody's curiosity is satisfied 
perhaps you will let me go on with my letters. 

Mary. Yes, we will, Joseph, if you will just listen for 
a minute. This is the most extraordinary thing. You 
listen, too, Jerry. You know John Smith? 

Jer. Seems as if I had heard the name before. 



28 STEP LIVELY 

Mary. I mean my brother-in-law, the girls' guardian. 
Well, a letter from him has been forwarded to Beverly. 
It just came. {To Bey.) Tell your uncle, dearest. 

Bev. It's perfectly ri-dic-ulous. He says if I will 
get married at once he will hand over the money which 
dear papa left me. He has always said that I couldn't 
touch a cent until I was of age, but he is so afraid I'll 
go on the stage that he will do an3^thing. 

Bill. Better marry and freeze to the money. You 
will find it easier to land a matrimonial job than a the- 
atrical one. 

Bev. Oh, ye-es, it's so easy. I can run right out and 
ask the first man I meet to elope with me. 

Mary. That won't be necessary. I have a wonder- 
ful scheme if Joseph will let us borrow Joe for a while. 

Top * \ {together, astonished). What? 

Mary. You see, Joe and Beverly can kind of get 
married .and every one can think for a while that they 
are married. John will give her the money and after 
she gets it she can come boldly out and say she isn't 
married, and then she and Juliet can use the money for 
the dramatic school. 

Joe I ,, ,, X (I protest! 

Bev. \ (together), -j if's H-dic-u-lous ! 

Bill. You should have been a man, Mary. You 
would have been a millionaire. You have the right kind 
of brain. 

Mary. Well, if poor dear Ezekiel had listened to me 
he would have left more behind him when he died. Are 
you willing we should use Joe? 

Joe. I protest ! I won't be used. 

Bill. Well, I don't know about this, Mary. I'm 
not acquainted with John Smith, but I don't know as I 
want to join in a scheme of that kind. I thought these 
shares were going to pay the bills. 

(Takes up package from desk and tosses it info drawer.) 

Mary. Not if we can raise the money as easily as 
this. I have always intended to use the shares for some- 



STEP LIVELY 



29 



thing else and now I can. I'm not going to make a 
needless sacrifice. 

Bev. But moth-er! 

Mary. Do as you like. If you can't do this simple 
little thing 

Bev. Sim-pie ? 

Mary. I repeat, simple little thing, why, go without 
the money. But I can assure you that you can't have 
any of mine if you throw such a chance away. 

Bev. Oh, Uncle Jo-seph, take my part ! 

Bill. Oh, what a hurrah about nothing ! You girls 
have just taken a crazy notion about the stage and how 
will it turn out ? Look at Jerusha ! 

Jer. {dryly). Yes, look at me! 

Mary. Oh, but this is different. Beverly and Juliet 
are talented. 

Bill. Don't you think your conscience is going to 
trouble you if you put this over 011 your brother-in-law? 

Mary. No, it isn't. The money was left to Beverly. 
She has a perfect right to it. John Smith is a regular 
old crab and has never been willing to advance the girls 
a cent of what is theirs. If I can get the money for 
Beverly I will glory in it. {To Bev.) If you had any 
spirit at all you would feel the same way. 

Bev. But it's so ri-dic-ulous ! I can't do it. 

Joe. And what's more I won't. 

Bill. Why not? 

Joe. Why, it's an outrage. Who ever heard of such 
a thing? How in heaven's name could it be done? 

Bill. Easy enough. Take Beverly down to Horton's 
office and tell him you want to be married for a joke. 
He can perform a ceremony for you which will not be 
legal, for he isn't a justice of the peace. 

Bev. Oh, Uncle Jo-seph ! 

Mary. Nothing could be more simple. 

Joe. It's an outrage. I protest. 

Mary. Jerry! Talk to them. 

Jer. {beckoning to Joe and Bev.). Come here! Be 
sensible. 

Bev. {protesting as she walks over to Jer.). It's no 
use to talk, Jerry. You know it's ri-dic-ulous ! 



30 



STEP LIVELY 



Jer. Perfectly ! 

Joe (joining them). And you never heard anything 
so absurd. 

Jer. Never ! 

Bev. And you wouldn't do a thing like it. 

Jer. No, indeed. 

Joe. And we aren't to blame for not wanting to do it ? 

Jer. Certainly not. 

Bev. And mother is perfectly cra-zy. 

Jer. Yes, she is. 

Joe. And father is insane. 

Jer. Without a doubt. And that's why you are going 
down to Mr. Horton's office right away. When a 
woman's crazy and a man's insane it doesn't do to cross 
them. You have to do just as they say. 

Joe ) ,. ^7 \ ( Hold on! 

Bev. [ (ioacther). j But, Jer-ry! 

Jer. (between them, holding them by the arm). And 
Beverly wants to go on the stage and she's going. And 
Joe is a perfectly dear boy and always does as the family 
wants him to, and he is going to help her get there, and 
it isn't going to hurt either of you and 

Joe. Let up, Jerry ! Let up, for the love of I'll 

go ! Come on, Beverly. We'll live through it, and it 
will help you get what you want. 

Bev. (as Jer. pushes them tozvard the door). Oh, 
Jerry, shall I do it? 

Jer, Of course ! It's the very thing you really want 
to do but you don't know it. 

Bev. (suddenly putting her hand to her head). But 
my ha-at ! 

Jer. (picking up hers). Here, take mine! And my 
bag! (Hands it to her.) Now you are ready! (Pushes 
them through the door, r.) Here comes the bride! 

Bev. (as she exits). Oh, Jer-ry! 

Mary. Now isn't that strange? I could have argued 
all day and they wouldn't have listened. 

Jer. Don't argue! Agree and you will get your 
point every time. 

Mary. Well, I'll go up-stairs and write a letter to 
John Smith. I have come up with him for once. 



STEP LIVELY 3 1 

[Exit, c. 
Bill, (starting to dictate to Jer. again). Yours of 
the twenty-first — I regret the delay 

Enter Nora, r. 

Nora. A young lady to see you, sir. 
Bill. Very well. Show her in. 

Enter Gwendolyn Smith, r., in a serge dress, long coat, 
traveling bag. 

GwEN. Mr. Billings? 

Bill. Yes and you are Miss Smith? I'm glad to 
see you. Pardon my left hand. I am suffering from 
rheumatism. 

GwEN. Yes, father told me. I am sur§ I sympathize 
with you. Here's the package which father sent you 
(taking it from her bag) and a letter. 

(Hands them to him.) 

Bill. Thank you. 

GwEN. Mr. Billings, as a favor I'm going to ask you 
if I may stay over night. I am going on to New York 
on the 1 : 05 to-morrow. My aunt was to meet me at the 
Adams House and when I reached there I found a mes- 
sage that she was ill and couldn't come. I don't believe 
father would want me to stay over night in a hotel alone. 

Bill. Certainly not. I should be glad to have you 
stay with me. (Introduces Jer.) This is my niece and 
she 

Enter Mary, c, as Jer. shakes hands with Gwen. 

Mary. Joseph, I left my (Stops surprised.) 

Gwendolyn ! 

Gwen. (going to her). Why, Aunt Mary, are you 
here ? And the girls, too ? 

Mary. Yes. Yes, we are all here. (Suddenly.) 
And what do you think, Gwendolyn? Beverly has just 
gone down street to get married. 

Gwen. Married? 

Mary. Yes. Won't your father be pleased? 



32 STEP LIVELY 

GwEN. (astonished). Why, yes, he will, but, Aunt 
Mary, didn't any of you want to go to the wedding? 

(Mary is completely upset and Jer. stifles a desire to 
laugh. ) 

Jer. {striving to save the situation). Dear me, no, 
Miss Smith. You see we have been to so many wed- 
dings. 

Bill, {who has been regarding them as if striving to 
grasp a situation). Am I to understand that this young 
lady's father is your brother-in-law? 

Mary. Why, yes, and, dear me, Gwendolyn, how do 
you happen to be here? 

Gwen. I brought Mr. Billings a message from father. 

Enter Theo., r. 

Bill. Miss Smith will remain over night. Can't you 
take her up-stairs, Mary? 

Mary. Why, certainly. 

Bill. Find Martha. 

Gwen. {as she starts to exit). Oh, Mr. Billings, 
father said for you to give me the answer to that letter. 

Bill. Very well. [Exeunt Mary and Gwen., c. 

(Bill, opens letter, looks at it, jumps to his feet, falls 
back in chair with a cry.) 

Theo. (together as they rush to him). Mr. Billings! 

Jer. Uncle Joseph, what is it ? 

Bill {crushing the letter and putting it in his coat 
pocket). Nothing! Nothing at all. The pain is in- 
tolerable at times. I'm not fit for anything to-day. Help 
me to my room. 

Jer. {hurrying to door, l.). Let me open the door. 
{She stands in the doorway so that Bill, and Theo. are 
obliged to pause as they reach the door. She takes 
BiLL.'s attention and gently removes the letter from his 
pocket.) Does Wilkins know what to do for you, 
Uncle Joe? 

Bill. Yes. 

Jer. Are you sure you have a good doctor? 



STEP LIVELY 33 

Bill, {impatiently) . Yes, yes, the doctor is all right. 
Jer. Shall we go on with your letters? 
Bill. Yes. Theodore can manage. My head isn't 
good for anything. 

(Jer. steps one side and Theo. helps Bill, from room, 
L. Jer. walks to table and smooths out the letter. 
She stands looking at it as Theo. enters, l.) 

Theo. {excited as he hurries to the table). You got 
it, Jerry? What is it? Can I know? 

Jer. {handing him the letter). Yes, see it if you like. 

TiiEO. {astonished). A perfectly blank piece of 
paper! Oh, you're fooling!. What's the use? 

Jer. I'm not fooling. It's not a joke. That blank 
paper is the message Uncle received from Mr. Smith. 
It means something, of course. You are right, Ted. 
Uncle Joe is afraid of something. If I could read that 
blank piece of paper I might be able to find out what. 

{Sits down by the table with the paper in her hand and 
studies it car ef idly. ) 

Theo. Say, Jerry, I feel as if I had pulled you Into 
an awfully unpleasant position. I had no idea you would 
let every one think you a failure and go to work for 
your uncle. 

Jer. Don't talk nonsense. 

Titeo. No nonsense about it. It's an outrage when 
you are really a success. 

Jer. {still intent upon the paper, talks . on with her 
attention given to the paper in her hand). Oh, Ted, for 
goodness' sake, hush! I'm trying to think. If we can 
do our work in this Vv'orld, Vv'e can do it, and we go right 
on doing it and it doesn't make any difterence what any 
one says or what any one thinks. If I was a failure 
maybe I would care. {Holds the paper up to the light 
and suddenly jumps to her feet.) Oh, Ted, I have it! 
Begin now and hunt this house over for a cross. On a 
box, a book, a picture, anything with a cross ! 

Theo. {astonished). But Jerry, why 

Jer. Ted, if you really have faith in me do as I 
say and don't ask questions. 



34 STEP LIVELY 

TiiEO. All right. Any kind of a cross? 
Jer. Yes. It should be a Maltese cross but bring me 
any kind you find. Try the library first. 

TiiEO. All right. [Exit, r. 

(Jer. looks about the room. Exit, c.) 

Enter Nora, r., followed by Carrie Arry. Car. wears 
a dark blue skirt and middy blouse, a sailor hat over 
one eye and carries a laundry box. She chews gum. 

Nora. It's ridiculous for you to follow me up here. 

Car. Oh, forget it. You gives me a pain. 

Nora. Your place is in the kitchen. The idea of you 
having business wiih Mr. Cunningham. He isn't here. 

Car. Well, trot along and find him. I got business 
w^ith him all right, all right. 

Nora. I'll take a message for him. 

Car. That's real sweet of you, girlie, but not for 
mine. I'll deliver my own messages, thank you. Va- 
moose or I'll ring up the old man and tell him you ain't 
onto your job. 

Nora. Oh, I'd like to pull your hair. 

Car. Well, go on, try it ! Believe me, your face will 
be where your back hair's resting now. 

Nora (with a stamp of her foot). Oh! [Exit, R. 

Enter Jer., c. 

Jer. {surprised). Why, where did you come from? 

Car. Down the chimney. I'm second cousin to 
Santa Claus if you are curious. 

"Jer. {laughing). Really? That's interesting. Are 
you in training for next Christmas? 

Car. {with a grin). Say, you're all right! Is Mr. 
Cunningham in? The maid went looking for him but 
I don't think she is very likely to strain her eyes looking. 

Jer. {quickly). I think he went out on business. 
Can I do anything for you? I am Mr. Billings' niece 
and Mr. Cunningham and I are in charge of his business 
just now. 

Car. {with a sigh). I suppose you will have to do, 
but I sure did hope to see Mr. Cunningham. Ain't he 
grand ? 



STEP LIVELY 



35 



Jer. Yes, indeed. 

Car. And ain't he grand looking? 

Jer. That doesn't express it. 

Car. He's got a soulful look. He's the image of the 
leading feller with Anita Stewart in that last film — er — I 
forget the name. Say, you know when I comes in sight 
of this house my heart goes like a steam engine just 
thinking 1 might see him. 

Jer. And aren't you ever fortunate in meeting him? 

Car. Once! Jest once, and I was so flustrated I 
drops the laundry and he picks it up for me and I nearly 
swooned. 

Jer. The laundry? 

Car. Yes, my mother does laundry for some of the 
gents in Benham. She's a cracker-jack! She beats the 
chinks. She does Mr. Billings' and Mr. Cunningham's, 
and that's what I came for. You know them blue and 
white striped shirts of Mr. Cunningham's? 

Jer. {suppressing a smile). Oh, yes, indeed. 

Car. The nifty ones. They got a pocket here. 
{Illustrates.) Well, in one of the pockets ma found a 
key tied up in a handkerchief. 

Jer. a key ? You are sure it was Mr. Cunningham's 
handkerchief ? 

Car. Here it is. His name is on it. 

Jer. {taking the handkerchief). When did you get 
the laundry? 

Car. 'Bout an hour ago. Ma thought I'd better 
bring this right back seeing it was tied up that v/ay. It 
might be important. 

Jer. AVell, er — I guess I don't know your name, do I ? 

Car. It's Carrie Arry. 

Jer. Well, Carrie, I'm very much obliged and Mr. 
Cunningham will be, too, when I tell him. 

Car. That's all right. {Starts to rise and slides off 
the chair, regaining her balance with difficidty. ) Gee ! 
These chairs are about like a shoot-the-chutes, ain't 
they ? 

Ter. Must you be going? 

Car. Wdl, yes, I got to go down to Mr. Horton's 
law office. {Picks up box.) 



36 STEP LIVELY 

Jer. (leading way to window). Why don't you go this 
way ? It is nearer. 

Car. All right. So long. [Exit, at window. 

Jer. Good-bye. 

{Looks out door, r. and c, goes quickly to door, l. 
and tries key, finds that it fits, returns to table, 
stands thinking. Joe and Bev. rush hi, r., followed 
by Horatius Thimple. He wears spring suit, straw 
hat, tan shoes same cut and shade as those worn 
by Theo.) 

Joe. Jerry ! Quick ! For the love of heaven ! 

Bev. (throwing herself at Jer. and weeping on her 
shoidder). Oh, Jer-ry! What are we going to do-o-o? 

Jer. What is it? What has happened? 

Joe. You urged us into the mess and now you'll have 
to help us out. Thim, this is my cousin, Miss Billings. 

Thim. I'm not thurprithed. She lookths jeth like 
all the reth of your family. 

Jer. (regarding Thim. in astonishment). For good- 
ness' sake, Joe, where did you find that ? 

Joe. He is a friend of mine, Horatius Thimple. 

Bev. Oh, Jer-ry ! What are we going to do-0-0-0 ? 

Thim. Yeth, that's what I want to know, too. What 
for the landth thakes are we going to do ? Too ! Do ! 
You'll pardon me if I thumtimes talk in rhymes. I 
can't help it. My mother ith dethended from Robert 
Burns. 

Bev. Oh, stop him ! I shall go cr-azy ! The more 
he talks the worse the situation grows. 

Jer. But, Beverly, what is it? What is the matter? 

Bev. Oh, Jer-ry! I'm married! Married to- that 
(pointing at Thim.) atrocity. 

Jer. What do you mean? 

Thim. (to Bev.). I wouldn't call nameths if I wath 
you. ' You don't theem to remember that it wath done to 
pleath you. 

Jer. Joe, what are they talking about? 

Joe. Well, we — we went down to Mr. Horton's office 
and outside I met Thim. 

Thim. I with I'd been in California. 



STEP LIVELY 



37 



Joe. We went in and Mr. Horton gave us the glad 
hand and wanted to know what he could do for us. 
Beverly said she had come down to get married, and 
just as she said it the door to one of the private offices 
opened and out came Juliet and a girl I am engaged to. 

Jer. You ? Engaged ? 

Bev. To Lucille Loveland, an actress! Isn't that 
aw-ful ? 

Joe. Sh ! For heaven's sake, don't advertise it ! 
Father will murder me in cold blood. Of course Mr. 
Horton was surprised and he asked Beverly if she was 
going to marry me. Well, I just saved the situation. 
I happened to think of Thim. 

Thim. You wouldn't have been tho thoughtful at any 
other time. 

Joe. So I said the fellow lost his courage a little and 
was outside and I would bring him in. I flew out after 
Thim and I must say he grasped the situation and played 
up to it in good shape. 

TiiiM. I alwayth have been an eathy mark for my 
friends but Fm all through. To-day hath finithed 
things. 

Joe. I slipped Horton a tip that the whole thing was 
a joke but he must have missed the point. He wanted 
to know if father knew what we were up to and when 
1 said that he did, he told us to go right into Mr. Simms' 
office and he would fix us up. 

Bev. Such a time as I had to make Juliet act as if 
she knew all about it. 

Joe. Mr. Horton went out on a little business for 
Miss Loveland and we all went in Mr. Simms' office. 

Bev. And we were mar-ried ! 

Thim. Yeth, we were married. 

Joe. I knew the thing was idiotic before we ever 
started out. 

Jer. Well, of course it's absurd. It was anyway, and 
1 don't see that it's so very much worse now. It's a 
joke and — — 

Thim. Joke? You call it a joke. I thould think 
you would exthpect to be thruck dead where you thtand. 

Joe. Jerry, it isn't any joke. They are really mar- 



38 



STEP LIVELY 



ried. After it was all over v^e found out that Simms is 
a justice of the peace. 

Bey. Oh, Jer-ry ! What are v^e going to d-o-o-o ? 

TiiiM. Yeth ! That ith what we demand of you. 
What, oh, what are we going to do ? 

Jer. Why, I can't believe it. It is perfectly ghastly. 
You are sure? 

Joe. Absolutely. Oh, Jerry, pull us out of this. 

Jer. How do you expect me to do it? Why didn't 
you wait for Mr. Horton to get back? 

Joe. Lucille was still there. She has some business 
with Horton. I wanted to get out of her sight as soon 
as possible. 

Jer. How long have you been engaged to her? 

Joe. About six months. There vv^ere three others in 
my class got engaged to Winsome Winnie girls. We all 
went crazy together. Miss Loveland isn't what you 
think. She's an O. K. girl and out of a fine family. 
Her cousin is one of my classmates, and that's how I 
happened to meet her. 

Jer. Do you suppose that story will go with your 
father ? 

Joe. Of course not. Nothing goes with him. That's 
why you'll have to pull us out, Jerry. I can't tell him 
why I made Beverly marry Thim instead of me. 

Jer. I don't believe the marriage is legal. They are 
fooling you. 

(Goes to desk and takes up telephone hook.) 

Thim. I with I thought tho. 

Bev. Oh, Jer-ry ! Don't offer me hope until you are 
su-re ! 

Jer. {finding number and going to telephone). Ben- 
ham 49. Yes. Is Mr. Horton there? (Bev., Thim. 
and Joe draw near to Jer.) Well, can you tell me if 
there is a justice of peace in his office? Mr. Simms is 
one. Thank you. (Bev., Joe and Thim. separate with a 
gesture of despair. Bev. drops down in a chair and 
begins to 'cry.) When will Mr. Horton be in? Oh! 
All right. Good-bye. (Rises and goes to Bev.) I'm 
afraid there's no hope, Beverly. 



STEP LIVELY 



39 



Bev. Oh, Jer-ry! 

TiiiM. Thath right. Thympathithe with her. What 
about me? She wanted to get married but I didn't. If 
I had I thould have been long ago. I know dothens of 
girls who are jeth crathy about me. I could get married 
jeth ath eathy. 

Jer. You certainly could. You have demonstrated 
that to-day. 

Thim. Yeth, you think ith funny but my father won't 
think tho. He dothn't want me to marry and when he 
finds I have married beneath my family 

Bev. ) 

Jer. >• {together). Beneath your family? 

Joe ) 

Thim. Yeth, beneath my family ! 

Jer. Well, for goodness' ' sake, tell us about your 
family. Who is your father? 

Thim. Olifer Thimple. We are Englith. We are 
the Thimples of Thimple Barton. I wath raithed in 
Thimple Manor. 

Jer. Raised in a simple manner? Goodness, 3^ou 
don't need to tell us that. We can see it for ourselves. 

Thim. (indignantly). No! Thimple Manor. A 
plath in England. 

Bev. Oh! Well, of course, Mr. Simple 

Thim. Not Thimple, but Thimple! 

Jer. Well, Simple or Thimple, I get your point of 
view. You stepped in to help Beverly and Joe and 
you are placed in a very unfortunate position. Now, I 
shouldn't let Uncle Joe know anything about this. In 
fact I shouldn't tell any one. The one to help us is Mr. 
Horton. There must certainly be a legal way out of 
this aside from the divorce court. 

Bev. ) ( Divorce? Oh, Jer-ry! 

Joe >■ (together). < Divorce? Good lord! 

Thim.) (Divorce? I protest! I have 

been married but I won't be divorthed. 

Jer. Well, Mr. Horton has gone up to Boston for 
Miss Loveland. He will be back this afternoon. Let 
things rest until then. You remain here, Mr. Thimple, 
and we will all keep still. 



40 



STEP LIVELY 



Bev. (walking toward window). Here comes Juliet 
and Miss Loveland. 

Joe. Good-night ! 

Jer. We will go, Joe, and you get rid of Juliet by 
telling her that I am here. Then tell your future bride 
that silence is golden in this house. 

[Exeunt Bev., Thim. and Jer., r. 

Enter Jul. and Luc. at window. 

Jul. Oh, Joe, Lucille has got to stay in Benham until 
afternoon and she is going to stay with us. Isn't that 
splendid ? 

Joe. Heavenly! 

Jul. Wasn't it the oddest thing I happened to see her 
going by? 

Joe. It certainly was. Say, Juliet, did you know that 
Jerry had come home? 

Jul. No! Where is she? 

Joe. With Beverly. 

Jul. Excuse me, Lucille. I'll be right back. You 
talk to Joe. [Exit, R. 

(Luc. takes a chair.) 

Luc. {pointedly). Yes, I'll talk to Joe. Nothing 
could give me more pleasure. Odd I should be invited 
to visit in your. home, isn't it? It will be so nice to 
meet your father. 

Joe. Lucille, do you intend to raise a row? 

Luc. Dear me ! What an unpleasant way to put it. 

Joe. You know what I mean. I explained to you in 
the beginning and 3^ou refused to listen. 

Luc. I should think it quite likely I would. I think 
you would find that any other girl would take the same 
stand. Engage yourself to a girl and then refuse to let 
the family know anything about it. Perfectly insulting. 

Joe. Well, of course it's no use to tell you over again 
that I didn't mean it that way. My father is a very 
peculiar man. You v/ill find it out if you stay in this 
house very long. If you want to stir up trouble for me, 
go ahead, but I tell you this much, it won't gain you 
anything. 



STEP LIVELY 4I 

Luc. Supposing we don't talk any more. I thought 
I wanted to talk with you but I think I had rather talk 
to your father instead. 

Joe. All right. Go ahead. Say anything you like 
about me, but one thing you will please not speak about 
is what happened in Mr. Simms' office. 

Luc. Oh, your father didn't know about that either? 

Joe. Yes, he knew, but he didn't expect Beverly to 
marry Thim. 

Luc. Why, whom was she to marry? Why, it must 
have been you and when you saw me you didn't dare to 
do it. What a delightful young man you are ! Engaged 
to one girl and started to marry another. 

Joe. II was a joke, Lucille. 

Luc. A joke? Wd\, you have extraordinary ideas 
of a joke. Just you wait until I try out my little joke ! 

Joe. You are a friend of Juliet's. You will make 
trouble for her sister if you say anything about this 
morning. Beverly is in a very unfortunate position. 

Luc. That seems to be characteristic of your family. 

Joe (out of patience). It seems to me this conversa- 
tion grows wearisome. What do you say about joining 
the others ? 

Luc. Oh, very well. [Exeunt, r. 

Enter Nora, c. ; walks toward table. Thim. enters, r. 
He wears a long coat and has a soft hat in his hand. 

Thim. Nora! 

Nora (turning quickly). Why, Jack! 

Thim. I'm here for the day, Nora. Things have 
played right into my hands. It's to-day or never. I 
can't expect such a chance again. I'm going up-stairs 
and if you hear any commotion, rush down and open the 
little door by the garage. I'll go out by the balcony. 

(He puts the coat on; turns the collar up around his 
face and pidls the hat over his eyes. Exit, c.) 

Nora. All right. [Exit, r. 

(Slight pause. Rose, enters carrying a doll and a 
number of toys. She starts to exit by windozv but 
comes back to table. Pulls out a drawer; puts her 



42 STEP LIVELY 

things in the drawer and carries it out at window. 
Mary is heard screaming. Nora looks in, r., and 
hurriedly exits. Mary continues to scream. Thim. 
runs in, c, and gets half-way across the room as 
Jul. and Jer. enter, r.) 

Jer. (as she enters). What in the world? (Sees 
Thim. and rushes for Kim.) JuUet, scream for help! 

Jul. (holding one hand over her eyes and screaming at 
the top of her lungs while Mary continues to scream- 
outside). Help! Help! Murder! PoUce ! Mother! 
Joe ! Uncle Joseph ! Mr. Cunningham ! Help ! Help ! 

(Jer. tries to hold onto Thim. who struggles with her; 
throws her off; rttshes out at zvindozv. She follows; 
Mary rushes in, c.) 

Mary. Help! He has stolen — he has stolen 

(Drops into a chair.) Oh, I'm fainting away! Help I 
Murder ! 

(Bev., Joe, Luc. and Mar. rush in, r.) 

All. What is it? What has happened? 

(Bev. runs to Mary.) 

Bev. Oh, mother! 

Enter Bill., l. 

Bill. What has happened? 

Jul. a burglar! He knocked Jerry down and 
dragged her out on the balcony by the hair ! 

Bill. Nonsense ! Jerusha isn't the kind to be dragged 
around by the hair. 

Joe (rushing to the balcony window, and looking out). 
Of course not ! She is coming across the lawn now ! 

Enter Thim., r. He has changed his tan shoes for 
black ones. 

Thim. There's an untheemly dithturbanth in thith 
houth. Hath thomething happened? 
Bill, (astonished). Who is that? 
Joe. a — a friend of mine. He's a special at Yale. 
Bill. I should say, very special. (Discovers Luc.) 



STEP LIVELY 43 

And who is that? We seem to have an unusual number 
of visitors all of a sudden. 

Luc. {stepping forward and giving Joe a look). I am 
a friend of your son's, too, Mr. Billings. An old friend. 

Bill. Is that so? 

(Jer. rushes in, r.) 

Jer. Watch the stairway, quick ! He has come back 
into the house. He came in the little door by the garage. 

Mar. Why, he couldn't have. I tried to get in there 
not five minutes ago and it was locked. 

Jer. Then there's two of them. Some one must 
have opened the door from inside. Watch the stairs ! 
If he comes up again it will have to be by those stairs. 
There's no other way. What did he take ? 

Bill, {suddenly discovering the missing drawer). 
Good heaven ! A drawer out of the table ! And the 
package Smith sent me and Mary's stock were in it! 
I forgot to lock it ! That letter from Smith sent every- 
thing out of my head ! Theodore ! Theodore ! Where's 
Theodore? {Goes to telephone.) Police Station — 
Emergency ? An officer quick as you can ! Joseph Bill- 
ings ! ( Turns to Mary. ) What did he look like ? 

Mary. He had on tan shoes. 

Jer. Yes, that's right, he did. Did he take anything 
from you, Aunt Mary? 

Mary. Yes, he did. 

All. What was it? 

Mary {primly). I never shall tell. 

Thim. For the landth thakes ! 

Bill. Why not? 

Mary. It is a secret that goes with me to my grave. 
I never shall forget this day. I w^as sleeping in the 
lounging chair when something woke me up and I saw 
my tan shoes walking around behind the portiere. At 
least, I thought they were mine. And then that great 
ruffian rushed forth and in his hand he had a package; 
but I shall never tell what was in the package. 

Joe. Some one is coming up the stairs. 

Jer. Look out now! 

Thim. *Let me help you! I'm very thtrong. 



44 STEP LIVELY 

Joe (outside r. exit). Hold on now! (Thim. rushes 
out, R.) Stop right where you are! (Thim. and Joe 
pull Theo. into the room.) Good heaven! Cunning- 
ham! (All look disappointed.) 

TiiEO. (looking about in astonishment). Say — what — 
the 

Mary (pointing to Theo.'s feet). His boots! Look 
at his boots ! It is he ! It is he ! 

Bill. Now stop this nonsense until the officer gets 
here ! Listen ! This Smith girl mustn't know anything 
about what has happened. John Smith can't hear of the 
loss of the package he sent. Beverly, did you get mar- 
ried ? 

Bev. (with a gasp). Y-Y-Yes, Uncle Jo-seph. 

Bill. Well, Smith mustn't know that you are married 
to my son. Remember, every one of you ! Absolute 
silence ! If you speak you bring trouble you little 
dream of ! 

(Bill, grozvs violent as he talks and pounds the table 
with his fist.) 

Thim. Land thakes, aren't you afraid you'll thoke? 

Enter Gvv^en., r. 

Owen. Is Martha here? 

Mar. Yes. 

Owen, (discovering Bev.). Oh, Beverly, you have 
come ! I was so surprised to hear about your marriage. 
I am sure I congratulate you. (Turns toward Thim.) 
Is this the happy man? 

Thim. Y-Y-Y (Bev., Joe and Jer. make frantic 

signs to him. ) No, no ! No indeed ! I'm far from 
happy. 

Enter Nora, r. 

Nora. I beg your pardon, but this Carrie Arry person 
is calling again. 

Enter Car., r., with Jer:'s vanity bag which she loaned 
to Bev. 

Car. I jest brought this up from Mr. Horton's office. 
Mr. Simms says Mrs. Thimple left it. 



STEP LIVELY 



45 



Bill. Mrs. Thimple? Who is Mrs. Thimple? 
TiTi^i. Why — why — she — she — (Joe, Bev. and Jer. 
again make signs) why — Mrs. Thimple is my mother. 
Car. Naw it wasn't your mother. It's your wife. 

(Starts toward Bev.) 

Jer. (stepping forward and taking bag from Car.'s 
hand). Tell Mr. Simms I'm very much obliged. 

Bill. Jerusha! What do you mean? 

Jer. This is mine, Uncle Joseph. 

Bill, (with a gasp, indicating Thim.). And that — 
that 

Jer. Is mine, too. (Thim. starts forward to protest. 
Joe checks him.) You may as well know it now, I sup- 
pose, as any time. It is really the reason why I wanted 
to work for you. I need a good steady salary. In a 
moment of insanity I acquired rather an expensive piece 
of property. I want to go on supporting him in the 
manner to which he has been accustomed. 

(Thim. makes another effort to protest; Joe shuts 
him off.) 

All. Jerry ! 

Bill, (dropping into a chair). Jerusha! 



CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE. — Same as in Act I. 

{As curtain rises Nora is serving afternoon tea, using 
the desk as a serving table. Mary sits near window, 
her cup of tea on a chair near her. Thim. sits 
directly opposite with a cup of tea and a small choco- 
late cake. GwEN. and Mar. sit on opposite sides of 
desk. Joe, Theo., Jer., Luc, Jul. and Bev, are 
grouped around the fireplace with tea and cakes.) 

Mary. Nora, pass me the brownies again. (Nora 
passes her a plate of cakes.) They are the best I ever 
tasted. I wouldn't dare to say how many this makes. 
I am really ashamed. 

Thim. I thould think you would be. Ith theven. 
■ Mary (stiffly). Oh, is it? 

(She holds the brownie in her hand, her arm resting 
on chair arm. In her interest in the conversation 
she forgets about it. Rose, comes to window and 
looks in; enters unnoticed by others; kneels by 
Mary's chair and eats nearly all the brozvnie; finally 
takes cup of tea from.chair and exits.) 

Thim. Yeth, it ith. 

GwEN. I'd like more tea, please. 

Mary. Oh, Gwendolyn, I wouldn't. So much tea is 
very bad for a young girl. 

GwEN. Oh, it won't hurt me, Aunt Mary, I am used 
to it. (Nora serves her.) 

Mary. Well, you shouldn't be. You and Martha 
would be much better off out-of-doors running around 
in the nice fresh air. 

GwEN. Running around? How old do you think 
I am? 

46 



STEP LIVELY aj 

Mary. Well, then, why don't you play tennis? 
Martha, I am surprised that you haven't taken Gwendolyn 
out to the tennis court. 

Mar. Why, I have, and we played for two hours 
this morning. 

Mary. Well, there is the auto. (To Thim.) Hora- 
tius, can you run an auto? 

Thim. Yeth, indeed, and I never had to learn. The 
firth time I wath ever in one, I run it right down through 
Wathinton Thrtreet Bothton. 

Mary. Well, you haven't an earthly thing to do. 
Take Gwendolyn out and let her see Benham. 

GwEN. I have seen it, thank you, what there is to 
see. I can't say that I was particularly impressed. 

Mar. Wilkins took us out this morning. 

Mary (desperately). Well — well — why don't you go 
down to the mill? I'm sure Gwendolyn would be inter- 
ested. 

GwEN. We have already been, Aunt Mary. 

Mar. Yes, we went this morning. 

Mary. Well, why didn't you leave something for this 
afternoon? How are you going to entertain Gwendolyn 
for the rest of the time she is here ? 

GwEN. Oh, I am having a lovely time, Aunt Mary. 
I love to just sit here and have tea. 

Mary (suddenly). Martha! I just happened to 
think. I forgot to bring my tonic. You will have to go 
down to the drug store for me. I don't dare to be 
without it. 

Mar. All right. 

Mary. Take Gwendolyn. She will enjoy the walk. 

Mar. (rising). Will you come, Gwendolyn? 

GwEN. (rising reluctantly). Oh, yes, I suppose so. 
I don't care much for walking but I'll go for company 
if you really must go. 

Mary (to Mar.). The prescription is right there in 
my bag and some money. (Mar. takes money and paper 
from hag on table.) Yes, that's it. 

GwEN. I didn't know you were sick. Aunt Mary. 
What is the trouble ? 

Mary. I have attacks of— of— well, I won't try to 



48 STEP LIVELY 

describe them. The doctor doesn't know himself what 
to call them. I am liable to have one at any minute. 

GwEN. That's too bad. We'll hurry right along. 

Mary. Yes, do, dear. You are always so sympa- 
thetic. (Mar. and Gwen. exeunt, r. Mary, with a 
long sigh.) I never saw anything so difficult as it is to 
get rid of that girl, and no one gives me a particle of 
help. Beverly ! j uliet ! Jerry ! ( The group by the 
mantel are talking and do not hear her.) They don't 
even know I am talking. I must say, Horatius, that 
Jerry doesn't seem over fond of your company if she 
can find any one else to talk to. 

TiiiM. (with a look at Jer. who is talking and laughing 
with Theo. and Joe). Jerutha? Fond of my company? 
She dothn't even remember that I am here. My wife 
ith too frivolith minded to want to talk to me. 

Mary. I can't realize that you are Jerry's husband. 

Thim. I have conthiderable difficulty in grathping 
the fact mythelf. 

Mary. It was a very sudden marriage? 

Thim. It thirtinly w^ath. 

(Group by mantel laugh.) 

Mary (disgusted). Juliet! Beverly! Jerusha! Jer- 
usha ! Beverly ! Juliet ! 

Jul. (as all turn). Goodness, mother, what is the 
matter ? 

Mary. Matter? I want your attention, every one of 
you ! You stand around and giggle and leave me to 
exhaust myself getting Gwendolyn Smith out of this 
house. She is every bit as aggravating as her father. 
All she wants to do is sit around and eat brownies. 

Thim. I don't think you can. thay mulh. 

Mary. Jerusha, your husband can certainly say the 
most annoying things. 

Jer. Yes, I have noticed that is a characteristic of 
husbands. 

Mary (suddenly discovering that her tea is gone). 
Why, where? Merciful heaven! Where is it? 

All. What ? Have you lost something ? What have 
you lost. Aunt Mary? 



STEP LIVELY 



49 



Mary. My cup of tea! It was right on that chair, 
and my brownie! It was right in my hand. I hadn't 
tasted of it and look at it now ! And my tea ! Vanished 
right before my very eyes ! I tell you there are strange 
things going on in this house. (Gives Theo. a look.) 

TiiEO. Oh, go on! Get it off your mind! I have 
tan shoes on my feet, therefore I have spirited your tea 
and toast away from you ! [Exit, R. 

Thim. That young man hath a very unpleathant 
dithpothion. 

Joe. Well, by Jove, who wouldn't have? All Aunt 
Mary talks about is tan shoes. 

Enter Bill., l. 

Bill, (looking about, disgusted). Afternoon tea? 
I'm glad you haven't anything else to think about. (Sits 
down by table.) Where is that Smith girl? 

Mary. Out, and you may thank me for it. 

Nora. Will you have tea, sir? 

Bill. No ! Take this mess away, all of it ! Step 
lively! (Nora clears the things away.) 

Mary. Dear me, Joseph, why don't you drop that 
very unpleasant remark ? Can you never forget that you 
started life as a street car conductor? 

Bill. I don't want to forget. I'm proud to remem- 
ber how I started my career. I am a self-made man. 

Thim. Yeth, it lookth like an amateur job. 

Bill. Jerusha, does your husband usually live at the 
place you are working? 

Thim. Thirtinly not. I am going back to work to- 
morrow. 

Bill. Work? I understood Joseph that vou were in 
Yale. 

Thim. I am a thpetial but I work jeth the thame. 

Bill, (to Jer.). Well, I am relieved to know that at 
least a part of what you said was a joke, Jerusha. 
What does yoin- husband do? 

Jer. Oh, let him do his own telling. 

Thim. . Thirtinly. I am proud of what I do. I am 
working for the glory of my country. 



50 STEP LIVELY 

Bill. Indeed? Well, we shall be interested to hear 
what you do. 

TiiiM. I am raithing carrier pigtheons to uthe in 
the war. 

Bill. Merciful heaven, Jerusha, I'll see that your 
salary is a good one. 

Mary. Joseph, what are we going to do ? Sit calmly 
by and make no effort to recover our property? Gwen- 
dolyn is out of the house. I suppose you will let us talk 
things over a little. 

Bill. Talk is cheap. I wish I knew what to do. I 
did the only thing I could think of when I sent for an 
officer. 

Bev. And such an officer ! He didn't seem to have 
average intelligence. 

Jul. I don't wonder he looked dazed. Mother told 
him she had something in a box stolen by a man in tan 
shoes and wouldn't tell him what it was, 

Mary. I told him the box was white and had a red 
cross on it. It was none of his business what was in 
the box. 

Joe. And father had a package of papers stolen and 
wouldn't tell what they were. 

Bill. It was nothing to the officer what they were. 

Thim. And Jerutha thaid the one who thtole Mrs. 
Smythe's package brought it back into the houth again. 

Mary. And he did, too. Didn't those tan shoes come 
back up here and into this room? 

Bev. And Jerry also said that he wasn't the same one 
who took the box from Uncle's desk, and none of you 
could give any description of the burglar. 

Mary. Beverly, m.y dear, I distinctly told the officer 
that he had on tan shoes. 

Jul. It's no wonder that the officer didn't look in- 
telligent. He must have thought he had come to an 
insaxie asylum. 

Mary. -What can any one expect of a Benham officer? 

Bev. I should think Jerry ought to have some ideas 
about the mystery. 

Bill. Yes, that's right. Where's our familv detec- 
tive? 



STEP LIVELY 



51 



\ Jer. In the future Miss Sherlock Holmes will give 
t^er attention to detecting the flaws in her typewriting. 

Mary. Jerry, that is very unkind when you know 
that Joseph and I are in trouble. I am sure that shows 
a very mean spirit in you. 

Thim. I've noththed that ith a characterithtic of 
wives. 

Mary. Don't you think you had better send to Boston 
for an officer, Joseph ? 

Bill. I have sent. 

All, You have? 

Bill. An officer will be dov/ri here on the 5 : 05. Do 
you think I v/ould sit calmly by and not do anything at 
all? If you understood what my loss means to me! 

Mary. I can't imderstand, Joseph, how you could 
fail to place under lock and key the shares which I 
intrusted to you and the valuable papers which you 
had just received. 

Bill. I have told you a dozen times that the message 
I received drove everything else from my mind. 

Luc. (going to table and sitting down by Bill.). 
Mr. Billings, did you know your son is quite a success 
at solving mysteries? 

Bill. Well, I hadn't heard about it. I never sus- 
pected him of being able to grasp what is perfectly plain. 

Luc. Well, last winter one of the stage hands stole 
a lot of things from different members of the company. 

(She keeps giving Joe a look and Bill, keeps his eyes 
on Joe the most of the time — between them they 
keep Joe in hot zvater.) 

Bill. Just what are you talking about? Am I to 
understand that you are on the stage? 

Luc. Yes. Didn't you ever hear Joe speak of me ? 

Bill. No, I can't say that I ever did. 

Luc. I am one of the most important members of the 
company. 

Bill. What company? 

Luc. The Winsome Winnie. It's odd Joe never 
mentioned me, for we are quite dear friends. Well, as 



52 STEP LIVELY 

I was telling you, we kept losing things, and one night 
when Joe was in back 

Bill. In back? Back? Of the scenes, you mean? 

Luc. Yes. Joe is awfully popular with the Winsome 
Winnie girls. 

Bill. Is he ? That's real interesting. Pray go on. 

Luc. He found out who it was that was taking the 
things. And after that we called him the Winsome 
detective. Wasn't that cute? 

Bill. Very. He certainly is a Winsome looking 
object. If you are so very clever, my dear Joseph, we 
should be delighted to have you try your "methods in 
this case. 

Joe. Well, really, father 

Luc. (intemtpting). Mr. Billings, there is something 
very important I would like to talk over with you before 
I go and I'm afraid I shall have to go soon. I hate to 
think about leaving, but of course I have to get up to 
Boston for the evening performance. I don't know 
when I ever had such a pleasant day. Is there some 
place we could have a little talk? 

Bill. Certainly. We can go down to the library. 

Luc. Let me help you. [They exeunt, R. 

(Joe drops down in a chair and looks utterly miserable.) 

Mary. Well, if we are really going to have an officer 
come down from Boston perhaps I can go to my room 
and have a little rest. Certainly I was never so worried 
in my life. [Exit, c. 

Jul. What could she have lost ? 

Bev. Oh, Jerry, what are we going to do-o? Don't 
you suppose Mr. Horton has come back? 

Jer. {going to telephone). I can find out. Benham 
49. {Pause.) Has Mr. Horton returned? Well, when 
is the next train ? 5 : 05 ? Thank you. 

Bev. Another hour ? I shall go cra-zy ! 

Thim. Well, what about me? You are only married 
to one man but I theem to be the huthband of two women. 
Thirtinly, I'm dithguthed. {To Jer.) I don't thee 
what you wanted to go and claim me for. 



STEP LIVELY 53 

Ter I didn't want to. It saved Beverly. 

Bey. Saved me for a while. But how is it all coming 

°^\er I don't know. I don't dare to offer you any 
hope but there must be a loophole somewhere. You 
didn''t have any license and I don't see why Mr. Suiims 
consented to marry you. 

Bev. Well, he di-id! u t ^. 

Thim Yeth he did. That wath bad enough, i got 
one wife I didn't want and then to get a thecond befoi^ 
I had any thanth to get rid of the firtht! And I don 
like the thecond even ath well ath the flrtht. (1 o Jer } 
The land knowths if it wath true, and I had ever really 
married vou, I thould have committed thuithide hve 
minutes afther the theremony. . j u a . .. K^Pn 

Ter Well if it had been true, and I had evei been 
about' to marry you, I should have committed smcide 
five minutes before the ceremony. 

loF There doesn't any one seem to remember the 
mess I am in. What do you suppose Lucille is telling 

fither^ 

Ter ■ I shouldn't think we needed to do any supposing 
Toe Oh, I wish I were dead. I'll be dead after I 

see father. I wish I could die before I see him. . 

Thim. Well, go on and die. We aren't thandmg in 

^°%l\ doesn't seem as if Lucille was very fond of 
you, Joe. What did she get '^ng^^S^d 'o >-ou f or . 

Toe She pretended she was awfully fond of me 
Shi got macl because I wanted to wait about telling 
father. She was perfectly unreasoiiable. 

Tfr I suppose you are madly m love with hei . 

Toe Love? Lucille? I hate the sight o her. 

fniM. And you went of your own vohthion and 
engathed yourthelf to thum one you hate The fa'^"> 
thould have put you away. You ^ren t a^H *ere. 

Joe. Oh, I thought I \yas crazy about her. jeriy, 
ha vp von seen Winsome Winnie? 

JER^ Not yet This is the first week in Boston, you 

''Te. Well, when you do you will understand. At 



54 STEP LIVELY 

the beginning of the second act Lucille is up in a 
balloon. And oh, say ! Oh, say ! It was the girl in 
the balloon I fell in love with, but the girl in the balloon 
and Lucille Loveland are two different beings. 

Thim. a girl in a balloon ? Didn't I teh you ? Ithn't 
hith head in the cloudths? 

Mary (outside). Beverly! Juliet! 

Jul. There's mother calling! 

Joe (disgusted) . Let's get out! 

Jer. Good idea ! 

Thim. Yeth. Thath right. I don't care for my 
mother-in-law at all. 

(Jer., Jul., Thim. and Joe exeunt at window. Bev. 
goes to door, c. Stops undecided ; finally starts for 
window. ) 

Enter Theo., r. 

Theo. Miss Smith ! 

Bev. Smythe, if you please. 

Theo. Will you kindly drop that? I'm in deadly 
earnest. Once and for all will you come forward and 
tell the truth? I have no right to hold back what I 
know. 

Bev. Why don't you tell, th-en? 

Theo. Because I can't without bringing you in. 

Bev. Well, then, why don't you do th-at? 

Theo. I think you know why I don't tell. I think 
you understand fully just how much I care for you. 

Bev. Why, Mr. Cunning-ham ! 

Theo. Don't pretend to be surprised. All girls do 
it, but it doesn't fool the fellow one bit. You have known 
for a long time. Of course I realize that I am nothing 
to you, but knowing how I feel and vv^hy I am shielding 
you, do you think you are doing the fair thing by me? 

Bev. Oh, I don't know what I thi-ink. 

[Exit by window. 
Enter Mary, c. 

Mary. Juliet! (Discovers Theo.) Oh, Mr. Cun- 
ningham, I am glad to see you alone for a minute. 
Joseph has sent up to Boston for an officer. If you will 



STEP LIVELY 



55 



return my property I will shield you. I will say I found 
the package myself. Mr. Cmmingham, I beg of you! 
I don't know what you intended to take. I don't care. 
I do know the contents of that package will never be of 
any benefit to you. If an officer finds that package and 
opens it I shall die. I shall be the joke of the family for 
the rest of my life. Mr. Cunningham, please give me 
back my property. 

Theo. {thoroughly disgusted). I would be glad to, 
Mrs. Smith, if I had it. It is useless to talk to you, for 
you will not listen to reason, but I never saw your pack- 
age. [Exit, c. 

(Mary walks about the room looking in all directions; 
suddenly stops near the fireplace and discovers Joe's 
necktie; takes it up.) 

Mary {calling). Beverly! Juliet! {Exit, r., with 
tie. Rose, enters at zvindozv, with Thim.'s tan boots; 
sits down and puts them on. Exits by window. Mary 
enters, R., followed by Jul. and Luc.) Come in here, 
girls; I want to talk to you. You heard Joseph say he 
had sent for an officer. Before that officer arrives I 
must get my package from Mr. Cunningham. 

Luc. You really believe that he is the thief ? 

Mary. I am sure of it. He not only has my package 
but he has Joseph's papers and the shares poor dear 
Ezekiel left. All of the things are in this house. We 
are going to find them. 

Jul. But, mother 

Mary. Don't talk ! Hunt ! Do you want to go to a 
dramatic school ? Those shares were going to take you. 
Your uncle won't let us mention Beverly's marriage to 
John Smith. That chance is lost to you. 

Luc. Where shall we hunt? 

Mary. Every room in the house. Begin here. Girls, 
I want to tell you I have discovered how he gets in here 
nights after the room has been locked. 

Girls. How ? 

Mary. • Dow^n the chimney. 

Jul. Why, mother! 



56 STEP LIVELY 

Luc. Why, isn't that interestmg? Hov/ did you find 
out? 

Mary {showing them Joe's tie). I found one of his 
neckties in the fireplace. 

Jul. How do you know it's his? 

Mary. Joseph doesn't wear ties Hke this, and it's 
just the kind of a tie to go with tan shoes. 

Luc. Well, I don't seem to understand. 

Mary. No, probably you wouldn't. You see I have 
always had real detective instincts. If I had started out 
as Jerusha did I shouldn't have returned home a failure. 
Now I look at it this way. Last night when he came 
in here I think he must have stumbled forward and 
caught his tie in the grate. 

Luc. {interested). Oh, yes! 

Jul. {staggered). Why, it doesn't seem reasonable. 

Luc. Of course not ! Don't you know it's always the 
unusual thing? Think of all the detective stories you 
have ever read. Let's begm to hunt quick. I haven't 
much time left before my train and I wish I could find it 
before I go. 

Mary {looking around over head). That's right. I 
admire your spirit. 

Jul. Do you expect to find it floating in the air? 

Mary. After what has happened in this house to-day, 
I expect anything. Where did my cup of tea go? 

{The two girls come down the room hunting as Mary 
goes up the room.) 

Enter Gwen. and Mar., r. 

Mar. Why, what's the matter? 

GwEN. What have you lost? Are you looking for 
something ? 

Mary {very much upset). Oh, no, no, indeed! We 
were just — just 

Luc. I was teaching them a new dance, the Winsome 
glide. It's a new idea danced by three instead of two. 
Two up the outside and one down the center and — 
and 



STEP LIVELY 



51 



GwEN. Oh, I love to dance. Teach it to Martha 
and me ! 

Mary. By all means. 

Jul. {quickly). But do it outside. There is no room 
in here. 

Luc. {leading the way to the window). Yes, out on 
the lawn. 

{Exits at window, followed by Gwen. Mar. starts to 
follow, comes back, hands Mary a package.) 

Mar. Here is your tonic, Aunt Mary. 

Mary. Dance that girl until she hasn't strength 
enough to walk into this house again. 

Mar. I can't keep her out all the time. She likes 
to stay in. 

Mary. Who cares what she likes? What would 
Joseph say to you if I told him you weren't willing to 
do your part? 

Mar. Oh, that's easy. Take her out ! Keep her out ! 
Do you hear? My head is killing me! Get out of my 
sight ! Step lively ! [Exit at window. 

Mary {to Jul.). Your friend is very quick at grasp- 
ing an idea. I wish you were as intelligent. Come ! 
We will go to Mr. Cunningham's room. 

Jul. {doubtfully). Do you think we have any right? 

Mary. He has my property. Do you think I will 
hesitate to go after it? {Takes package from table.) 
Oh, my tonic ! 

Jul. I didn't know you were taking a tonic, mother. 
Are you sick? 

Mary. No ! I'm not sick. It's a hair tonic. 

[They exeunt, c. 
Enter Jer., r. Telephone rings. 

Jer. {going to telephone). Hello! This is Miss Bill- 
ings. Yes. I will speak to Mr. Cunningham if you will 
hold the line, please. {Goes to speaking tube; rings 
bell. ) Wilkins, send Mr. Cunningham up here. I think 
he is in the library. 

{Sits dozvn at desk and begins to zwite. Slight pause.) 

Enter Tiieo., r. 



58 STEP LIVELY 

Theo. Did you want me, Jerry? 

Jee. Telephone. 

Theo. Did you forget there is one in the library? 

Jer. No, I didn't forget. I wanted you up here. 

Theo. {going to telephone). Hello! Yes. No, he 
isn't. He is worse if anything. Til have him call you, 
Mr. Fales, the minute he is able. Good-bye. My heaven, 
Jerry, your uncle can't hold the directors off much longer. 
That is four times Fales has called me to-day. 

Jer. Won't Uncle talk with him? 

Theo. No, and he simply won't listen to a word about 
a meeting either with him or without him. He could 
have a meeting here all right if he vv^ould. There is 
some reason why he doesn't want the directors to meet. 
It's the annual meeting and they have postponed it for 
him three times already. Did you say you wanted me 
up here? 

Jer. Yes. How's business at the mill, Ted? 

Theo. Oh, ten times better than it was. 

Jer. Uncle has no cause to worry ab6ut that? 

Theo. Oh, no. Of course when the war first broke 
out things looked pretty bad, but it's coming along all 
right noAV. Jerry, Hinkley has a claim of some kind 
on your uncle. In time he will get full control of the 
mills and run the business himself. 

Jer. How I dislike that man ! How I always dis- 
liked him ! As a child I fairly hated him. I can remem- 
ber the first night he ever came to this house. The way 
he looked at me* arrd put his hand on my head. I can 
feel him now. And he always talked to Uncle about 
his niece as if I wasn't his niece at all. Uncle has always 
been afraid of him. It isn't anything new. I realized 
it as a child and I used to say to myself that when I 
grew up to be a detective I would find out why. 

Theo. I wish you could. 

Jer. I am going to. How long did you v/ork here 
last night? 

Theo. Why, we closed up about eight-thirty, I think, 
because Mr. Billings 

Jer. (interrupting). How long did you work here 
after eight-thirty ? 



STEP LIVELY 59 

TiiEO. Why, Jerry 

Jer. Don't side step. What were you doing so long? 
Going over the books when you discovered the figures 
had been changed ? 

Theo. Why, Jerry, I had the books in my room. 

Jer. That isn't worth while, Ted. You worked in 
this room for several hours. You smoked some of your 
favorite perfectos and burned candles so the light 
wouldn't attract attention. There are traces in the room. 
Then you went to your own room and worked. There 
are also traces there. 

Theo. You have been up in my room? 

Jer. Certainly. 

Theo. My heaven, Jerry, I thought you were going 
to help me. Instead you are trying to incriminate me. 

Jer. Not trying. I am simpty getting at facts. When 
I am called on a case I hunt for the guilty party. It 
doesn't make any difference who it happens to be. If 
you are guilty I shall endeavor to prove it. 

Theo. Oh, will you ? Why don't you rave on about 
my tan boots and ask me to return Mrs. Smith's mysteri- 
ous package? 

Jer. You didn't take that. If you had your left boot 
would have been stained a dark red. 

Theo. (impatiently). Say, you are having a lot of 
fun, aren't you? Making things up as you go along? 

Jer. Am I? Am I making this up? You suspect a 
woman, probably some girl, of having something to do 
with this affair. You are shielding her at the cost of 
vour own reputation. Why don't you tell me the truth? 
It would facilitate matters. You must care a whole lot 
for some one. 

Theo. Gay little romancer, aren't you? 

Jer. You are not playing fair, Ted. You should tell 
me what you knov/. About that money that was taken 
from the bag? Where was the bag? In this room? 

Theo. Yes. The bag was on the table. Mr. Billings 
was here. I stepped out for a minute and when I came 
back Mr. Billings had gone into his_ room. 

Jer. Some one worked quick, didn't they? 

Theo. Like a flash ! Must have come in that v^^indow. 



60 STEP LIVELY 

Jer. When did you discover the loss ? 

TiiEO. After I reached the bank, I had an instinctive 
feehng that something was wrong, and I went into one 
of the httle offices and looked things over. Jerry, that 
same thing has been done time and time again. 

Jer. And it must always have been done after you 
were ready to go to the bank. Somebody knov/s pretty 
well what is going on in this house. What account 
v/as it? 

TiJEO. Mr. Billings' checking account for the mill. 

Jer. And it's thousands of dollars short and Uncle 
hasn't discovered it yet ! 

Theo. No, but he must before long, and when he 
does where will I be? 

Jer. Down in East Cambridge av^aiting your trial. 

(Car. comes to windozv.) 

Car. May I come in? 

Jer. Why, certainly. {Smiling.) Did you want to 
see Mr. Cunningham? 

Car. Yes. 

Jer. Well, he is right here. [Exit, c. 

Car. {simpering) . How do you do? 

TiiEO. {surprised). How do you do? 

Car. I came up to see you. 

Theo. Yes ? 

Car. I came up this morning but you weren't here. 
I was awfully disappointed. Don't you rememiber me? 

Theo. Why — er — er — it seems — er 

Car. I'm Mrs. Arry's daughter, Carrie. Don't you 
remember me ? I dropped the laundry and you picked it 
up for me. I'll never forget that morning. Did you 
get your key? 

Theo. Key ? 

Car. Yes, I left it with her. {Points after Jer.) 
Didn't she give it to you? 

Theo. No. She probably forgot. 

Car. Ma found it in the pocket of one of your shirts, 
tied up in a handkerchief. 

Theo. And Jerusha has it. Good Lord ! 

Car. Say, did you ever act in the pictures? 



STEP LIVELY 6 1 

Theo. Good heavens, no ! 

Car. You look jest like the leading feller I see the 
other night. You got jest the look. I'll bet you could 
act in the pictures something beautiful. 

Theo. That's a good suggestion. The chances are 
ril be looking for a new job before long. 

Car. Well, I wouldn't care if I was you. I wouldn't 
want to work for old Step Lively and you can easy get 
another job. 

Theo. I wish I thought so. 

Car. I suppose you are wondering why I came up to 
see you. You know that little window right near the 
back of the garage. I guess it's in your cellar. 

Theo. I think I know where you mean. 

Car. Well, right under that v/indov/ I found a little 
white box with a red cross on it. Does it belong here? 

Theo. (with a gasp). Yes, it belongs here. 

Car. (handing it to him). Here it is. 

Theo. (dazed). Good Lord! I mean thanks! Are 
you going? I hope you are in a hurry. No, no, I 
mean — I can't tell you how glad I am you came. 

(As he talks gets her to the window without her 
realizing that he is doing it.) 

Car. So am L I'll come again some time. 

Theo. Yes, do ! Good-bye ! I'm awfully glad to see 
you going. I mean to have met you. 

Car. (smiling back at him as she exits at windozv). 
Good-bye. 

Theo. (walking c, and gazing at the box in his hand). 
Good-night ! 

Enter Jul., c. 

Jul. (coming down stage to l. of Theo.). Oh, Mr. 
Cunningham, have you seen 

Theo. (hastily trying to conceal the box and backing 
away from her). No, I haven't seen anything. Not 
anything' at all. I shouldn't know anything if I should 
see it. 

Enter Luc. at window. 



62 STEP LIVELY 

Luc. Mr. Cunningham, have you seen 

TiiEO. {making another attempt to conceal box and 
backing away from Luc). No, I haven't. Didn't I just 
say I hadn't? 

Mary {entering, c). JuHet! 

Theo. ( rushing out, c. ) . Help ! 

Jul. Well, didn't he act queer ? 

Luc. Didn't he? Just as if he was trying to hide 
something. 

Mary. He v^as ! That's just it! He has it with 
him. Quick ! See where he puts it. 

[Exit, c. Girls follozv. 

Enter Thim. and Nora, r. Thim. has his long coat and 
hat with him. 

Thim. Say, Nora, where are my tan shoes? 

{As they talk Jer. starts to enter, c. ; discovers them 
and stands back of portiere listening.) 

Nora. Goodness, how should I know? 

Thim. Didn't you take them? 

Nora. Take them from where? 

TiiiM. From the closet down-stairs. 

Nora. I don't know what you are talking about. 

Thim. I had on tan shoes when I came this morning. 
When I ran across the lawn I stepped into that bed of 
clay by the garage way over my left shoe. Of course 
the shoe was a sight and I knew I couldn't fool Miss 
Jerry. Billings. She was too close. I just managed to 
shut the door in her face. She seems to be right onto 
the job. So I slipped off my tan shoes and put on these 
black ones I left down there Wednesday with my coat 
and hat. The tan shoes are missing. I thought you 
must have taken them because the hat and coat weren't 
touched. I should have thought any one else would have 
been likely to have taken the whole outfit. 

Nora. Mrs. Smythe wouldn't. She has tan shoes 
on the brain. 

Thim. I should say she had, but it isn't very likely 



STEP LIVELY 



63 



she has been down-stairs rummaging around. Say, who 
is this niece of BilHngs who is posing as my wife? I 
never heard of her before. There seems to be great 
excitement and much joy because she has returned to 
the family. 

NoiiA. I don't know much about her. Wilkins told 
me a few things. She is Mr. Billings' brother's daughter. 

Thim. She is? Well, that's real interesting con- 
sidering James Billings never had a daughter. 

Nora. Well, that's what Wilkins says. Mr. Billings 
took her when she was a baby and brought her up and 
she had trouble with him and went away nearly two 
years. She wanted to be a detective. 

Thim. A detective? How odd! 

Nora. She thought she was going to be a great one 
but it seems she has made a mess of things and come 
home to work for her uncle. 

Thim. {suddenly). Good heaven! I thought she 
looked familiar. She is Billy Breen and she is a wonder. 
What is she doing here and what is she fooling the family 
for? Work for her uncle? That's rich! Nora, pump 
Wilkins some more. I must find out who she really is. 
It's going to be harder than ever with her around, and 
confound it all, we aren't making any headway! 

Nora. Oh, Jack, I forgot to tell you that I can't let 
you in again at night until you get another key. I lost 
mine last night. I dropped it in the hall and I didn't 
have a chance to look for it then for I heard some one 
coming. When I went back I couldn't find it. 

Thim. And that reminds me that I have lost Mrs. 
Smythe's package, and I can't imagine how. I was going 
to have 3^ou put it back in her room. 

Nora. What was in it? 

Thim. Oh, let her take the secret to her grave if she 
wants to. 

Nora. Oh, aren't you mean? 

Thim. Nora, I think I'll make another try. I've got 
a nev/ scheme. {Puts hat mid coat on chair.) I'll leave 
these hdre for a -second. Take a look and see where 
everv jone is., 

Nora., *Ali right. [Exit, r. Thim. exits, l. 



64 STEP LIVELY 

Enter Rose, at window; discovers Thim.'s hat and coat; 
puts them on. The coat comes to her feet and she 
pulls the hat down so it rests on her shoidders. 
Telephone rings; she goes to telephone. 

Rose. Hello! Oh, hello! Is that you, Uncle John? 
Yes, this is Rose-Marie. Yes, we are all visiting Uncle 
Joseph. He is sick and stays in his room the most of 
the time, so we are having a real nice time. It's awfully 
exciting here to-day because mother has lost her new 
set of false teeth. Everybody's looking for them but 
they don't know what it is they are looking for. No 
one knovv^s she wears them but me and the dentist and 
she doesn't want any one to know. She is going to take 
the secret to the grave with her. Yes, your daughter 
is here. You want her to call you up. All right. 1 
will tell her. Good-bye. 

{She exits by windozv. Mary cotters, c, just as she 
goes through the window; utters a piercing shriek. 
Luc. and Jul. enter, c.) 

Jul. Mother, what is it? 

Mary. I saw them! Saw them distinctly! A pair 
of tan shoes with a hat and coat on going through that 
window ! Come ! 

(Mary exits by windozv, followed by Luc. Jul. fol- 
lows slozvly to window; looks disgusted. Thim. 
enters, l. Doesn't notice Jul. by the window; goes 
to chair where he left his coat. ) 

Tliim. Where in thunder? 

{Goes ciuickly to another chair, and then to another.) 

Jul. Have you lost anything, Mr. Thimple? 
Thim. Oh, no ! No ! I wath jeth playin' puth in the 
corner! [Exit, c, hurriedly. 

{ Telephone rings. ) 

Jul. Hello! What? This is Miss Smythe talking. 
Who? Oh, Mr. Hinkley? Yes, I know. (Jer. enters, 
R. Stands by table zvatching Jul.) Why, yes, I think 
we shall stay here a few days. What? Why — er — er — 



STEP LIVELY 65 

well, all right. I'll see what I can do. Good-bye. 

{Discovers Jer. standing by table.) Oh, is that you, 
Jerry ? How you startled me ! I — I 

Jer. What is the matter, Julie? Who called up? 

Jul. Mr. Hinkley. Oh, Jerry, I— I— don't know 
what he means. I think something is wrong. 

Jer. Julie, tell me! What did he say? 

Jul. He wanted to talk with Miss Smythe. He said 
he had just heard that we were here. I told him I was 
Miss Smythe and he wanted to know if I was going to 
be here a few days. When I told him I was he said 
as long as I wasn't successful Wednesday night I could 
go on now and maybe I could accomplish something. 
He sounded so queer. At first I was going to ask him 
if he was crazy and then I thought it might be well to 
listen to what he said. 

Jer. I'm glad you did. 

Jul. But what does he mean? 

Jer. I'm not sure but I'm fairly good at guessing. 
Tell me, was Beverly away from home Wednesday? 

Jul. Why, no, oh, yes, she was, too ! She was right 
over here in Andover at a house party. I remember she 
spoke of how near she was going to be to Benham. 

Goodness, you don't think (Stops abruptly.) 

Why, Jerry, what do you think? 

Enter Bev., r. 

Jer. Oh, Beverly, you are just the one I want to see. 
What were you doing here, Wednesday ? 

Bev. (upset). Oh, Jerry, do you know? Mr. Cun- 
ningham has told? What am I going to d-o-o? I'm 
almost cra-zy ! 

Jer. Mr. Cunningham hasn't said a word but you 
may as well tell me the truth. How did you happen to 
fall in with Hinkley? 

Bev. I have known his son Gleason for a long time 
and he has proposed to me about a dozen times. I hate 
him. He was at Katherine Clancy's house party. He 
induced me to come over to his home by telling me his 
father had an important message for me from Uncle 
Joseph. We came over in the auto. Mr. Hinkley told 



66 STEP LIVELY 

me he wanted me to come over here and look for a case 
with a cross on it which contained papers which Uncle 
had stolen from him. He said if I wouldn't help him 
recover the papers he was going to ruin Uncle and the 
whole family name. I was awfully upset, Jerry, and 
I came but I didn't have a chance to hunt very long. 

Jer. Theodore saw you? 

Bev. Yes, he did. I made up my mind I would tell 
Uncle but Mr. Hinkley made a lot more threats if I 
said anything and went on a whole string about my 
leading Gleason on to care for me. Oh, Jerry, I've been 
so upset and miserable. I didn't know whether to speak 
or keep stih. 

{Drops dozvn in chair by table and begins to cry.) 

Jul. {going to her and putting her arm aromid her). 
Beverly, why didn't you tell us? 

Bev. Jerry, do you believe anything he said about 
Uncle could be true? Did Uncle ever work on a ranch 
in Mexico? 

Jer. He was in Mexico in his younger days but I 
don't know what he did there. 

Bev. Mr. Hinkley says Uncle wouldn't be worth a 
penny to-day if he hadn't used money which should have 
been Hinkley's. What shall I do? Shall I tell Uncle? 

Jer. Leave it to me, will you? 

Bev. Oh, I will be so glad to. I have been nearly 
crazy and now this awful mess to-day! How is it com- 
ing out? 

Llx. Juliet! {Outside.) 

Bev. {wiping her eyes and glancing tozvard the door). 
Oh, dear! 

Jer. {quickly). Come in here! 

[Exeunt Jer. and Bev., c. 

Enter Luc, r. 

Luc. Juliet, have you stopped hunting? 

Jul. I have. Mother is crazy. Everybody's crazy! 
I'm disgusted with everything! Beverly's in all kinds 
of trouble. Mother has lost her stock, and I have lost 
my chance of going to the dramatic school. 



STEP LIVELY 



67 



Luc. Why are you so strong for a dramatic school ? 
I don't think they are so all important. I never went 
to one. 

Jul. How did you get on the stage? 

Luc. A friend got me a chance. Say, would you 
come down from your ideas of Shakespeare and take a 
small chance if you could get it? 

Jul. Well, of course I am grand at Portia, and Juliet 
I adore, but I would carry a spear in the chorus for the 
sake of really being on the stage. 

Luc. Wait a minute. (Goes to telephone.) Beach 
280. (Pause.) Hello! Is Mr. Henley there? Yes, 
please. (Pause.) Hello! This is Lucille. Have you 
got any one in Annie Malloy's place? Will you try a 
friend of mine? Oh, yes, she is fine. She has been in 
lots of things. (Pause.) AH right. Good-bye. 

Jul. (with a g»sp). Oh, Lucille! 

Luc. Haven't you been in lots of things? He will 
never know what kind of things, unless you are foolish 
enough to tell him. You are to go right up with me 
this afternoon and he will try you. 

Jul. (throwing her arms around Luc). Oh, Lucille! 
Come and tell mother. [They exeunt, R. 

Enter Jer., c. Joe enters at zvindozv. 

Joe. Jerry, Lve been wanting to get a chance with 
you alone. I want to tell you that I think the family is 
made up of brutes. I think it's a darned shame you had 
to quit and come home. I know you really wanted to be a 
detective and of course while it was perfectly crazy, 
I'm sorry you didn't succeed. 

Jer. Thank you, Joe. 

Joe. And I tried to find you, Jerry, several times. 

Jer. Did you? That was kind of you. We have 
always been pretty good pals, haven't we, kid ? 

Joe. Well, I admire your nerve. Calling me kid. 

Jer. (laughing). Well, you see, I can remember when 
I used to wheel you out in a go-cart. 

Joe (disgusted). Well, I wish you'd forget it ! 

Jer. Joe, have you any reason for thinking your 
father hasn't as much money as usual? 



68 STEP LIVELY 

Joe (surprised). Why, no. 

Jer. You have all you v^ant? 

Joe. Well, not all I vi^ant but my bills are all paid and 
I alv\/ays have the allov^ance agreed upon. 

Jer. And it's a generous one? 

Joe. Well, it is more than some fellows have. 

Jer. Oh, be fair to your father, Joe. 

Joe. Is he fair to me? 

Jer. Well, he stands by you generously, just as he did 
by me. Just as he is doing by Martha. His bark is 
v^orse than his bite, Joe. You know that. A man who 
stands ready to take in his brother's child, and then his 
sister's and care for them as his own 

Joe {interrupting). Oh, he always would do any- 
thing for you, Jerry. Do you suppose if I had gone 
away and stayed two years and then come back the way 
you have to-day that he would have taken me in? 

Jer. I think he would. 

jOE. Well, I wish you had heard him this morning. 
He doesn't like the way I talk. 

Jer. W^ll, if you could hear yourself you wouldn't 
blame him. 

Joe. And he threatened to thrash me. Isn't that a 
nice way to talk to a college man? 

Jer. What does it matter how he talks? How many 
times in your life has he threatened that same thing and 
how many times did he ever really do it? 

Joe. Well, never when you were around, I'll admit. 
Gee, Jerry, you were always great to Joe, Jr. 

Jer. As long as your mother lived, Joe, she was great 
to me. Joe, your mother was a splendid woman, and if 
she was living to-day she would want you to be a 
splendid man. 

Joe {brushing his clothes and fixing his tie in place). 
Well, goodness knows I am trying to be, but I don't 
seem to be the family's ideal of a man. 

Jer. {exasperated). Stop fussing with your clothes. 
{Banging her hand dozvn on the table.) Sit down ! 

Joe {with a gasp, dropping into a chair). Good gra- 
cious, Jerry, sometimes you are just like father for all the 
world. 



STEP LIVELY 69 

Jer. Joe Billings, somewhere m you there must be 
something of a man. There couldn't help being with the 
father and mother that you have had. I believe your 
father is in trouble. I believe he has been for a long 
time. You and I are the only ones there are to stand 
by him. When the crash comes what are you going to 
do ? Will you do your part or must I stand alone ? 

Joe, Oh, I'll do it, Jerry, if I know my part, but I 
don't seem to get the right cues. 

Jer. Joe, have you ever seen your father upset over 
any message he has ever received? 

Joe. Why, yes, once, and by Jove, it was queer. It 
happened a year ago during the Christmas vacation. He 
almost dropped right here in the floor and I had to help 
him to his room. He left the message here on the table. 
You know you had only been away a short time and I 
fancied the message was from you. I came back and 
looked, and, Jerry, what do you suppose was on that 
piece of paper? 

Jer. Absolutely nothing. 

Joe. Why, Jerry, how did you guess? 

Jer. I didn't guess. I knew. 

Joe. You sent it? 

Jer. No, I didn't send it. Now remember, Joe, you 
are going to stand in with your father. 

Joe. a lot father will care where I stand. You seem 
to forget that I am in wrong with him on account of 
Lucille. 

Jer. My heaven, Joe, I wish you would stop this 
cry-baby business. I don't wonder people smile when 
you say you are a college man. 

Joe. Jerry, there is such a thing as going too far w4th 
me. 

Jer. Not with you, Joe. People can go just as far 
as they like. You are nothing but a joke. [Exit, c. 

Joe (looking after her). Oh, is that so? 
Enter Luc, r. 

Luc. I must tell you, Joe, that I like your father 
awfully well. 

Joe (trying to be dignified). I'm sure I'm glad to 
hear it. Father certainly is a fine man. 



70 STEP LIVELY 

Luc. You will be likely to think so by the time he 
gets through with you. 

Joe.' Well, probably you will be on your way to Bos- 
ton by that time. I'm sure I hope so. I hope you will 
leave Benham soon. Miss Loveland, our engagement is 
at an end. Please understand that I am throwing you 
over and I don't give a hang what you do about it. 

Luc. {laughing). Throwing me over? Well, if that 
isn't great ! You didn't suppose I had any idea of hold- 
ing you to your engagement, did you? You poor foolish 
joke ! • [Exit, r. 

Joe (looking after her). Joke! (Looks at door 
where Jer. made her exit.) Joke! (Rose, enters by 
window, still wearing Thim.'s hat and coat. Has a 
bundle of papers in her hand.) Well, for the love of — ■ — 

Rose, (swinging around back to, stretches out her 
arms and turns her feet in). Did you ever see anything 
in a corn-field that looked like this? 

Enter Theo., r. 

Theo. Well, what (Suddenly discovers the 

papers; takes them from her.) What have you got? 
(Looks at them; grozvs excited.) Where did you get 
these? They came out of Mr. Billings' desk! 

Joe. The deuce they did ! ( Grabs Rose, by the arm. ) 
Where did you get them ? 

Theo. (grabbing her by the other arm). Answer! 

(They pull her back and forth and she screams at the 
top of her voice.) 

Joe. Have you anything more? 
Theo. Answer ! 

Joe. I bet you get all that's coming to you. Where 
did you get these ? 
Theo. Answer ! 
Joe. Yes, answer! 
Theo. Do you hear? 
Joe. Stop ! Stop screaming ! 
Theo. Where did you get these ? 

Enter Jer.^ c. 



STEP LIVELY 7l 

Jer. What in the world is the matter? 

Joe. Rose-Marie has a bunch of father's papers and 
she won't tell where she got them. 

Jer. (quickly). Rose-Marie, hsten to me ! You took 
the drawer from Uncle's desk? 

Rose. Yes. 

Joe. Well, by Jove ! 

TiiEO. Good lord ! 

Jer. (kneeling down by Rose, and putting her arms 
around her). You wanted to play with it? (Rose. 
nods.) Listen, sweetheart; Uncle has lost somx things 
and we must find them. We are all in trouble. Take 
these off. (Takes Thim.'s hat and coat from Rose, and 
puts them on chair.) Now come and show Jerry where 
you put the drawer. 

Rose. All right. [They exeunt at window. 

Joe. Well, by Jove, how do you suppose she knew 
about that drawer right off like that ? 

Theo. (slyly placing Mary's box with the red cross on 
the table). Probably her brain is a real one, not a joke. 

[Exit, R. 

Joe (with a gasp). Joke? Thunder! [Exit, R. 

Enter Thim. and Nora, c. 

Thim. You saw me put them right on that chair. 

Nora (going to chair). Well, they are here now. 

Thim. (going up to chair and looking at his hat and 
coat in astonishment). Well— for— words fail me. I'll 
get the crowd started after me. (Puts on hat and coat.) 
Then you head them off the other way and keep them 
there. Mr. Billings is working in his library and I must 
have some time up here alone. I feel as if to-day was 
the last chance, and I haven't done anythmg. (Loo lis 
out door, R.) Go on, quick! Here comes Juliet. 

(Nora exits at window; Thim. waits until Jul. enters, 

R., then exits at window.) 
Jul. (at the top of her voice). Help ! Quick ! There 
he is! 

Enter Mary, Luc, Bev. and Theo., r. 



72 STEP LIVELY 

All. Who? 

Jul. The burglar! He went out the window! 

TiiEO. Well, this time we get him ! 

(All rush out window. Joe enters, r., as they go out; 

follows them to windozv, looks after them. Slight 

pause. Jer. enters window, carrying the drawer to 

the desk.) 

Joe. What's the big excitement now? Aunt Mary 

seen the tan shoes again? By Jove, you've got the 

drawer. 

Jer. Yes. (Puts into place in desk.) Joe, go out 
and watch and tell me if they come back again. I want 
a few minutes up here by myself. 

Joe. Well, have you gone crazy, too ? 

Jer. Please Joe! 

Joe. Oh, anything to oblige. 

(Exit at window. Jer. exits, l.) 

Enter Thim., r. ; stands listening for a second; removes 
hat and coat; starts to exit, l. Steps hack quickly. 

Thim. My heaven ! (Slips back of portiere; Jer. 
enters, carrying an old black leather chest. She places 
it on the table and works a zvhile with the clasp and 
finally gets it open. Thim. zvatches her from behind the 
curtain but she is back to him and he doesn't see that 
she takes from the chest a large Mexican revolver; she 
examines it and places it on desk. She then takes out 
some papers, places them on desk over the revolver; 
takes more papers from chest and begins to look them 
over. Thim. comes softly forward, takes a revolver 
from his pocket. Points revolver at her.) Miss Billy 
Breen, kindly hand over those papers. 

Jer. (turning with a start, then speaking calmly). 
Is it loaded? 

Thim. It certainly is. 

Jer. (handing Thim. the papers). I won't argue 
with you. 

Thim. (taking the papers). I am sorry to take this 
advantage of you, Miss Breen. I know it is not the act 
of a gentleman but I must have these and you will pardon 



STEP LIVELY 



73 



me if under the circumstances I feel a little pride in 
getting the better of you. 

(Puts the revolver in his hip pocket, and begins to 
look the papers over.) 

Jer. {very quietly taking the Mexican revolver from 
under the papers on the table). I trust they are what 
you have been looking for? 

Thim. They certainly are. 

Jer. I congratulate you. 

Thim. And I thank you. I have looked a long time 
and I will admit that I never dreamed of that old case. 

Jer. {smiling). Rose-Marie has your tan shoes. 

Thim. {laughing). Oh, has she? Thank you. Say, 
who are you, anyway? 

Jer. Who am I ? 

Thim. Yes. I know you aren't Mr. Billings' niece. 
You have aroused my curiosity. 

Jer. You have aroused mine. Who are you? I am 
sure you are not Horatius Thimple. 

Thim. My name is Merideth, John Merideth. 
. Jer. {suddenly pointing revolver at him). Then, Mr. 
John Merideth, kindly hand over those papers ! 

Thim. {with a gesture of disgust, throwing them on 
the table). Oh! 

Jer. {taking them with her left hand and still keeping 
him covered by revolver). I'm sorry to take this advan- 
tage of you, Mr. Merideth. I know^ it is not the act of a 
lady, but I must have these and you will pardon me if 
under the circumstances I feel a little pride in getting 
the better of you. (Thim. has been moving his hand 
tozvard his pocket.) Put your right hand on the table, 
please. It is too dangerously near your pocket and I 
have no desire to fight a duel with you. 

Thim. {beside himself). Miss Breen, if you knew 
how much those papers mean to me and how hard I 
have tried to find them! If you try to destroy them I 
won't answer for what I will do ! 

Jer. Don't get excited. {Looks at the papers.) 
Who was Henry Merideth? Your father? 

Thim. {moving impatiently). Yes. 



74 STEP LIVELY 

Jer. Stand still ! 

TiiiM. Well, I won't much longer ! 

Jer. { suddenly handing them over to him). Here, 
you may have them. I have seen all I wanted to: 

TiiiM. (astonished). Well — for 

Jer. (throwing the revolver onto the table). And the 
joke is on you, Mr. Merideth, for this one isn't loaded. 
(Goes to windozv. Calls.) Joe! 

Enter Joe at window. 

Joe. Yes ? 

Jer. Go down-stairs and tell your father to come up 
here and you come with him. 

Joe. Well, father doesn't make a practice of running 
around when I tell him to. 

Jer. Well, tell him Henry Merideth's son is up here. 
He will come all right. (Joe exits, r.) Is Hinkley any 
relation to you? 

Thim. He certainly is not. 

Jer. (going to telephone). Benham 75. (Pause.) 
Hello! Mr. Parkington? This is Billy Breen. I want 
you to arrest Hinkley, the foreman at Uncle's mill. Do 
it as quickly and as quietly as possible. 

Thi^i. Why, Miss Breen, I can't realize that you 
are taking my side this way. I expected to have to 
fight my case. 

Enter Bill, and Joe, r. 

Bill. Jerusha, what is the meaning of this message 
you sent me? 

Jer. Uncle Joseph, this young man is not my hus- 
band. I will explain later. He is John TIerideth. His 
father was Henry Merideth, the owner of the Mexican 
ranch, the Maltese Cross. (To Thim.) You might tell 
your own story. I am not sure of all the details. 

Thim. My mother died when I was a baby. My 
father boarded me with a northern family and went down 
into Mexico. The family where he left me never heard 
from him after the first six months. They were kind 
enough to, bring me up. Two years ago I determined to 
find out something about my people if such a thing was 



STEP LIVELY 



75 



possible. I went down into Mexico and with the aid of 
a detective I have worked out my case. My father 
owned the Mexican ranch, the Maltese Cross. He had 
a foreman Joseph Billings. The foreman died and Henry 
Merideth sold out the ranch and came north. -After he 
came north Joseph Billings came to life again and there 
was no Henry Merideth. Joseph Billings had been a 
poor man, a street car conductor, and he came back from 
Mexico with enough money to start the Benham mill. 
I have, made use of Hinkley. Through him I found out 
that you had something in your possession in the shape 
of a cross which contained the proof I needed. Miss 
Breen is the winner. She found what I wanted. 

Joe. Miss Breen? 

Thim. Yes. I don't know what relation this young 
lady is to you or what her real name is. I know her as 
Billy Breen, the detective. 

Jer. Uncle, I deceived you this morning. I am not a 
failure as a detective, and I do not want to work for 
you. I have all the work I can do. Theodore sent for 
me to come here. He said that some one was trying to 
rob you and that he was under suspicion. He said your 
life was threatened by Hinkley and begged me to take 
the case. Well, I finally consented to take it and I 
have finished it. I am not as rapid as a general thing 
but to-day luck has been with me. You see these blank 
messages which Hinkley has been sending 

Bill. He said that he didn't send them. That some 
one else knew my secret. 

Jer. Just the same he did send them. This morning 
I picked your pocket of the message you received. The 
piece of paper was blank but the water mark was a 
Maltese Cross. Some one was tr3ang to rob you of 
something, and you were afraid to say what. I just 
put two and two together and untangled the web. This 
old chest of yours with the Mexican design, when you 
tm-n this handle it forms a Maltese Cross. Uncle, why 
have you never destroyed these incriminating papers? 

Bill. For this very reason. That it was possible 
some one* belonging to Merideth would turn up some 
day and they could have their rights. 



76 STEP LIVELY 

Jer. Then you did intend to make good ? 

Bill. If I ever had to. (Pushes case toward TuiM.) 
This is yours. You shall have every cent that belongs 
to you. My son and daughter are witnesses to what 
I say. 

All. Daughter ? 

Bill. Yes. (To Jer.) I've kept it all these years 
and now you can know. You are the daughter of my 
first wife. I was married in Mexico. You were born 
on the Maltese Cross ranch. The ranch was in an iso- 
lated place. Hinkley and I wxre the only ones who had 
gone to work for Merideth at the time he died. He had 
a fever. Your mother died of the same fever. Hinkley 
was away on business for Merideth and I was alone. I 
needed money badly. I wanted to come back north. 
Before Hinkley returned I had sold out the ranch and 
come home. I didn't know that Merideth had any rela- 
tives. As far as that went I didn't try to find out 
whether he had or not. No one knew I had been mar- 
ried and I wanted to bury the past so I told people you 
were James' child. 

Jer. And Hinkley found out what you had done and 
followed you north. 

Bill. Yes. 

Jer. How much money have you let him have? 

Bill. Thousands of dollars. (To Thim.) Is he 
any relation to you ? 

Thim. No. 

Bill. Well, that has been his claim, and now by 
heaven 

Jer. He is already under arrest. I telephoned to Mr. 
Parkington. 

Bill. But, Jerusha, I received one of those blank 
messages from John Smith this morning. 

Jer. Yes, I know you received a message but not 
from John Smith. It was from Hinkley just the same. 
What I don't understand is hov/ Gwendolyn happened 
to have it. 

Enter Mary at window, followed by Jul., Luc, Bey., 
Theo. and Nora. 



STEP LIVELY 77 

Mary {dropping into a chair). I'm perfectly ex- 
hausted and not a trace of the burglar. 

(Jer. discovers Mary's box on table.) 

Bill. Don't worry, Mary, the detective Theodore 
sent for says she has finished her case. Maybe she W\\\ 
explain what she means by that. 

Jer. {taking box and a package of papers from table). 
Here is your box, Aunt Mary. 

Mary {taking it zvith a cry). And it doesn't look as 
if it had been opened. 

Jer. And here are the shares you intrusted to Uncle. 
Uncle Joe, you can have your directors' meeting as soon 
as you please. Here is the package John Smith sent to 
you this morning. 

Enter Gwen., r. 

GwEN. Mr. Billings, this is the queerest thing. Here 
is the letter which father sent you. I just found it on 
the hall table. That one I gave you this morning must 
have been — have been^something else. 

Bill. Yes, that is just what it was. Something else. 

Gwen. And I must have mixed the letters up some 
way on the hall table. 

Mary. Gwendolyn, where is Martha? 

Gwen. Oh, we are playing billiards. We are having 
the grandest time. Do you want her? 

Mary. No, no, indeed ! Go right on with your game. 
(Gwen. exits, r.) At last that girl is interested in some- 
thing. {To Jer.) Now will you go on and tell us 
the rest? 

Jer. Why, I don't see as there is anything more 
to tell. 

All. What? 

Mary. Nothing to tell ? After you have deceived us 
the way you have, the least you can do is to explain 
things. 

Jer. Well, I'm not going to tell who took the drawer 
from Uncle's desk, nor who took the money from Theo- 
dore's bank bag and changed the figures in his books. 

Bill, {siaggered). You know who? 



78 STEP LIVELY 

Jer. Yes. I don't see any harm in telling you that 
Mr. Thimple, who is really Mr. John Merideth, is the 
one who has been making the attempts to enter the 
house. Fiu'ther than that I cannot tell you, for this is a 
family affair. 

TiiiM. I think you are stumped in one direction. 
How did I get in here nights ? 

Jer. Nora let you in. 

All. Nora? 

Jer. {handing him a key). Here is the key you lost 
last night. 

TiiiM. I give in. Nora is my wife's sister. 

All. Your Vv-ife? 

Jer. Then that ceremony this morning wasn't legal. 
Simms knew. 

Thim. Yes, he knew. 

Jer. Oh, Beverly, you are all right. 

Mary. But what — what 

Bey. I got married to him this morning, and we 
thought it was legal. We have been nearly cra-zy. 

Bill. But yoti were going to marry Joseph ! 

Joe. Yes, she was, but I met Miss Loveland and I 
suppose she has already told you why I side stepped. 

Bill.^ Miss Loveland has asked my advice about some 
property which has recently come to her. She didn't 
mention your name. 

(Joe gives a gasp and Luc. laughs.) 

Luc. My goodness, Vv^e ought to be going, Juliet. 

Jul. Mother, listen! Lucille has got me a chance to 
try a small part in Winsome Winnie. I'm going right 
up to Boston with her. Beverly, if I make good, per- 
haps I can get you a chance. 

Bey. Oh, you needn't bother. Since I came to-day 
(looking at Theo. and smiling) I have discovered some- 
thing I wasn't really sure of — and — and — I don't care 
about going on the stage after all. {Runs out windozv.) 

Theo. {joy f idly, follozving her). Miss Smythe ! 

Mary. Well, if that isn't like a girl ! 

Luc. Come on ! We must go ! 

[Exit, R., foUozved by Jul. 



STEP LIVELY 



79 



Mary (follozving). Well, Juliet — wait 
TiiiM. We will go, too, Nora. 



Bill. I w411 arrange a meeting with you later. 

Thim. Very well. Good-bye, Miss Ijreen. I hope 
you have no hard feelings. 

Jer. Of course not. (Shakes hands.) Good-bye. 

[Exeunt Thim. and Nora, r. 

Bill. Well, I am absolutely a ruined man but I feel 
happier than I have for twenty-live years. (To Jer.) 
You say you know about the bank money? 

Jer. Yes, you took it yourself. You have taken from 
the bank for the mill and tried to pay back to the bank. 
These papers John Smith sent you are bank property. 
I suppose you raised money on them. 

Bill, Yes. I have tried everything and every way 
and I have been nearly crazy. Now the crash must 
come, but I shall feel better, I am sure of that. 

Joe. You mean, father, that you haven't any money? 

Bill. After young Merideth has what belongs to him 
there will be practically nothing left. Things have been 
going w^rong ever since the war broke out. 

Joe. Well, I don't suppose I am good for much. I 
seem to be the family joke, but tell me what I can do 
and I will do it. One thing is sure. I'm not going back 
to college. I will work at something. 

Jer. That's right, Joe. Go in the mill and learn the 
business. Father, you are angry with me but you 
shouldn't be. When I went away to work it wasn't 
because I wanted to leave you. You never could seem 
to understand that I v\^anted to make a success of some- 
thing just to show you how muph I appreciated all that 
you had done for me. More than that, I waaited to pay 
back some of the money you had spent on me. 

Bill. But, Jerusha, you didn't understand that you 
were my daughter. You had a right to the money. 

Jer. Well, then, you have given' me my rights, you 
have given Joe his, and now it is your right that we 
should give something back to you. • 

Joe. That's right, forther — I mean father.^ I don't 
know what I've got to give but whatever it is it's yours. 

Jer. *Father, you know Hugh Whitford, and have 



80 STEP LIVELY 

probably read the case in the papers? (Bill, nods.) 
He told me yesterday that anything in the world he could 
do for me he was ready to do. I am going to ask him for 
the use of some of his money for Eenham mills until you 
can get things going again. All that I earn, and it's 
getting to be a good deal, shall go into the mills and Joe 
can give himself. 

Joe. That's right. Gee, forther — I mean father 

Bill, (rising). I guess I don't much care what you 
call me, Joe, if you have that spirit back of it. What 
were you going to say? 

Joe. I'm mighty glad Jerry is my sister if it is only 
a half one. 

Jer. No half about it, Joe. (Shakes hands with 
him. ) I'm going to be the whole thing. Tell us, father, 
that you will let us do this for you — with you ! What 
do you say? 

Bill. What can I say? • 

Jer. Say yes. To-day we start a new firm — Joseph 
Billings, and (pointing to herself and Joe) company. 

Joe. And such a company ! 

Jer. And the slogan of our firm shall be " Step 
Lively " ! 

(They stand on either side of Bill., each zvith a hand 
on his shoidder.) 



CURTAIN 



B. Ul* Pinero's Plays 

Price, 50 Betife €acb 



IWin THANNFf ^^*y ^° ^°'^'* ^^'^^s. Six males, five females. 
AHii^-Vti/aiiiiijLi Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. 
Plays two and a half hours. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH Sr^'Ei^b"? 

males, five females. Costumes, modern; scenery, all interiors. 
Plays a full evening. 

THF PRnFIinATF Play in Four Acts, Seven males, five 
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elaborate ; costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THF QrHfini MTQTPFQQ Farce in Three Acts. Nine males, 
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THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^lli°SZ,Xi 

females. Costumes, modern; scenery, three interiors. Plays a 
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QWFFT I AVFNriFR Comedyln Three Acts. Seven males, 
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TUF TUTTNnrDlini T Comedy in Four Acts. Ten males, 
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THF TIIVFF^ Comedy in Four Acts. Six males, seven females, 
i**Ci lllTlEiO Scene. a sinele interior: costumes. modern. Plavj 



a full evening. 



Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays 



THF WFAVFP QFY Comedy in Three Acts. Eight males, 
10£i VT£ii\.IvCiIV iJ£iA eight females. Costumes, modern; 
Bconery, two interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ^Z^Ult'^Xr.^S,: 

Costumes, modern ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full evening. 



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LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 

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AS YOU I IK^F IT Comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
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rAMIITF I^ra"^^ i"^ Five Acts. NinejnaleS, fite females. Cos- 
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INHOMAff -^^^y ^^ ^^^^ Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
lilUUiTIAA Scenery varied ; costumes, Greejk, Plays a full evening. 

MAPY STIIAPT Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
ITlAiyi tJlUAlli males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
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lllfc iTlbKtllANl Ur YhNlCb nISS, three females! CostuniesI 
picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

RICHFI IFII -^^^y ^° ^^'^^ Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
l\lVllL<l^llvU ery elaborate ; costumes of the period. Plays a full 
evening. 

THF RIVAIS Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 IIL ni T ALtD Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 

SHE SI OOPS TO CONQIJER nfaTel Lu? females.^ Scenery vT- 
ried ; costumes of the period. Plays a full evening. 

TWELFTH NICHT; OR, WHAT TOU WILL ^^,%^JiL: 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
full evening. 



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